"I don't want to go back for there is no path; I cannot return home for there is no settling place for me... Who is waiting for me and loves me; Whose eyes still anticipate me? Who could tell me that there is a path that can be retaken?"
When the mournful song "The Prodigal Son" was over, a Church of Hangzhou, a post-80s brother named Liang walked on the stage and told his torturous path of returning to God to the congregation. He was sharing at a musical evangelistic meeting with the theme of "returning home," held in Hangzhou Gulou Church on the evening of May 28, 2017.
Below is the edited text of his testimony:
Part One: Confused and Wandering in Body and Mind
Born in a village of Anhui, I was the youngest child in my family and most loved by my parents. Feather-bedded from childhood, I became lazy and headstrong. I went to school outside my hometown at 13. Influenced by gang movies, I imitated the actions in the movies, like climbing school walls, smoking, and drinking. I muddled along like this until college.
I continued to drift along in college. I smoke and drank outside the school while my classmates had meals in the canteen. Squandering the stipend from my relatives and friends, I was often drunk in the street. I later ganged up with some schoolmates to eat, play cards and fight.
This lasted until graduation when I had a chance to support myself. After graduation I went to Fujian, thinking that I would work hard for my future. Fastidious but incompetent, I changed jobs a dozen times in one year. As a result, nobody trusted me, regarding me as a fraud.
I had no options left, and intended to go back home while feeling that it was a shame to see my parents and classmates. Ultimately, I didn't go back, but I raged all day long, complaining about being useless, having no background, company, or society...
Part Two: Returning to the Lord resulted in a transformed life
There was nothing I could do after work. Then my elder sister took me to church. At first I joked about whether I could find a girlfriend in the church. However, the amazing thing was that I really got a girlfriend! After that I went to church actively in order to date my girlfriend. In fact I felt sleepy in church and slept while others worshiped God.
After knowing my girlfriend for one year, we prepared to get married. I promised that I would believe God seriously as a favor to my mother-in-law. Actually I believed in love rather than Jesus or the church. I was a nominal Christian who didn't read the Bible or pray, and slept as soon as I was in church.
My wife and I arrived in Hangzhou after Christmas 2012. After our arrival, our first baby (we have three children now) was born. Being a father, I had a sense of responsibility. Despite facing financial difficulties, I felt humiliated to call my parents for help.
Afterwards, I found a job in the largest domestic investment company. Taking it as a chance to show my capability, I failed to accomplish my work achievements after the six-month probation period. To stay in the company, I applied to my superior for three-months of unpaid work. During that period, I lived a frugal life on a credit card. Every time I stood at my door after work, I was afraid to enter, feeling that I had come to the end. My faith didn't come to an end previously, while it was being driven into a corner ...
During the National Day holiday of 2013, a pastor from Taiwan gave sermons in Hangzhou Panshi Church. In the past, sermons did not register on my mind. This time I heard the preaching and tears fell down my face ...
I asked, were God's promises really true, like "walking in God's promises", "if anyone is in Christ" and "the blessing of the Lord brings wealth, and he adds no trouble to it"?
After the sermon, I went back home and made a resolution with my wife: insist on Bible reading and prayer no matter how tired we were, and stick to tithing no matter how broke we were. I thought that I had nobody but Jesus to rely on.
I continued to work in that company. There was no result in the first six months, and it remained so in the seventh month. The sales were a million yuan in the eighth month, but there was still 14 million yuan left to meet the target. How could I achieve that in the final month? I wanted to give up, waiting to be fired. However, my wife encouraged me to stand firm, for God is faithful. Then we stuck the notes on the wall recording all our problems. We brought all the problems to God and knelt down before him to pray and totally depend on him. God answered them all, one by one, faithfully. I achieved a sale of 20 million yuan, exceeding the sales quota of 15 million yuan. My achievements increasingly thrived in the following several months and for one or two years.
There were a dozen young people like me in my company, who bemoaned their luck and fiddled with their smartphones and WeChat all day when there was no achievement, but I was excited and had joy. Experiencing God's grace, I was the first one to arrive at the office with joy and the last one to leave.
One has to go through many risks in investment, but God kept me from encountering risks. I bought an apartment in 2015, which I didn't expect. That was God's promise. I found myself changed in daily Bible reading and prayer. For example, my colleagues held a dinner party consisting of a dinner, singing karaoke, and going to the pub. I used to be a drinking man but I refused to attend that party. Once a client took me to a nightclub where we talked. No sooner had we drunk wine than a row of women came to me. The client said, have a good time. Struggling in my heart, I was aware of my Christian identity. I drunk a bottle of beer and insisted on returning home, rejecting the temptation.
I haven't changed jobs for four years, ever since I was admitted to the company. I used to grumble in the face of difficulties at work, but now I choose to come before God. I was good at telling lies, which was an art of conversation in my eyes, but what I say now is simply yes or no...
Many people who are older than me (I was born in 1988) are still single, but I have three children. It doesn't mean that I got married earlier than them, but that I returned to God's family earlier than them. Looking back on the past, it shows that the reward goes not to him who is quick, or the fruits of war to the strong. My wife is a strong woman. Thanks to her prayer and tears, I can enjoy the sweet love of the heavenly Father in His home. She is a full-time wife who takes care of the children.
The young people who live in the city should walk ahead under the guidance of God whether for your own dignity or careers.
(The author is a Christian from Hangzhou.)
Translated by Karen Luo
