Editor's Note:
Chunzi is a young girl who lived a 'smooth' life until recently when she was struck hard in her relationship, career, and friendship. It crushed her; but God's presence strengthened her. She chose to write down her story while still in distress, believing that God will work miracles on her.
My name is Chunzi and I'm a positive girl who works hard in life. Along the way, I rarely experienced severe setbacks, however, lately I felt betrayed and abandoned.
Though it was not easy, I had a good youth.
I call myself a businesswoman. In fact, I had my first taste of business when I was 13 selling scarves on the street during winter break. It was Spring Festival time, so I handed my mom all the money I earned - 1,000 yuan.
At age 15, I went to my cousin's home on my own for the first time. I learned then that life was really not easy by helping her do beading.
When I was 16, I lived a rather difficult life helping my brother do business. Every day I studied, took care of cashier work, balanced the books, sorted goods, and cleaned. After 16 hours of standing, by the time I got to my dorm I not only couldn't feel my legs, I couldn't eat on time either.
All these weren't difficult for me. The only time I cried was when I missed my grandma's funeral because of work.
When I started living on my own, people left me but God was always by my side.
Later I traveled to a lot of places to gain insight. only recently did I start my own business. However, I truly suffered and experienced my God after I opened my own store.
Due to the lack of funds, I borrowed money for the start-up. When the capital chain ruptured, I applied for loans.
Because I'm a Christian, I relocated to a place near the local church. Only I was never happy in the last three years. The pastor kept rebuking me by telling me I needed to confess my sins because I'm a sinner. He said, "If you come to church to find love, then you're wrong." It hurt me so much that I no longer wanted to stay. And I never went back. However, I don't think my leaving the church means leaving God.
Though my store has been running on low funds and the loans piled up, I could always feel God's presence.
I need money for my business, but few people are willing to loan me money; I barely have any money for food, but no one can help me; the debtors keep calling me; a friend whom I've known for 11 years pestered me for repayment and said some awful things, despite all the smooth talks when needing my cooperation.
Suddenly I understood a lot. I prayed, "God, at least you calmed me down so I'm not scared or worried. I still believe in you."
Under the pressure, there's a voice that tells me to give up because I'm so tired. But deep down, my heart shows me that I will pull through it and God will seek great things for me.
I wasn't depressed. I keep praying that God is my way and I shall walk on it.
Love hurts but God comforts.
In 2004, I took a course on aesthetics as an elective because of work and I met my ex in Australia. Three months later, he came to China and told me he loved me. He wasn't my type and I didn't like him at first. But he understood me and was very nice to me.
I, on the other hand, was not very considerate. I revealed my true self with him. He used to say that he especially cherished my innocence and hoped I didn't lose as I grew. He was so nice to me that I never thought about him leaving me.
Three years later, I went back to China and after a while he broke up with me. I gradually got out of this relationship. I still contact him occasionally and though it takes him a while to reply, his care for me never ceases.
I found out later he already has a girlfriend and just like that my world fell apart. No matter whether I was standing, lying, or sitting, I was always in tears.
I wonder whether everyone should experience a series of tests to grow.
However, why did I allow these things to bury me in sadness? I still have God and He said "I will never leave you nor forsake you." My heart was greatly comforted. Just like my prayers, I really can handle things at work and smile.
I did not give up my career or live a depraved life. I know even in this situation, He still walks with me; others don't love me, but He does.
I have a loving and almighty Father in Heaven. My circumstance will definitely change.
I started to simplify my life, not to worry about loans or breakups. Even though my store won't survive without funding, I will never give up. The store is my baby and I want to stay true to myself. It won't be finished without the best ending.
I'm also sending my resume to enter the cosmetic surgery industry.
I will become a miracle and change my life in God, and this testimony will continue.
-Translated by Grace Hubl
