Hollywood Star Andrew Garfield spoke about his preparations for his character in Martin Scorsese's film 'Silence' in an interview for America Magazine and how he fell in love with Jesus Christ.
In the movie, Garfield plays Sebastião Rodrigues, a Jesuit missionary who asked their church to locate their missing mentor Father Cristóvão Ferreira, who was reportedly apostatized in Japan to save innocent Japanese believers. The actor shared that he undertook the Spiritual Exercises, a set of prayers, meditations and practices written by Ignatius of Loyola in order to prepare for the role.
He said in the interview, "What was really easy was falling in love with this person, was falling in love with Jesus Christ. That was the most surprising thing."
He adds, "There were so many things in the Exercises that changed me and transformed me, that showed me who I was... and where I believe God wants me to be."
The actor is not a Christian before taking up the role for the film. He shared "Films were really my church. As a young kid, it was movies and books; it was nothing remarkable really, just that is where I felt soothed, that is where I felt most myself... safest."
As he prepared for the role, Garfield reflected not only on how he met Jesus, but on his awareness of how Jesus has been misused or misunderstood. "I felt so bad for [Jesus] and angry on his behalf when I finally did meet him, because everyone has given him such a bad name... And he has been used for so many dark things."
In the interview, the actor also shared his feelings regarding pain, dissatisfaction and the need to please others. He said: "The main thing that I wanted to heal, that i brought to Jesus, that i brought to the Exercises, was this feeling of not-enough-ness. This feeling of that forever longing for the perfect expression of this thing that is inside each of us. That wound of not-enough-ness. That wound of feeling like what I have to offer is never enough."
The actor had also shared his new-found faith and how he is working out his "very specific relationship with Jesus."
"This is my sincere prayer. I'm praying that I'm freer to offer myself vulnerably...and that these other voices, whether they're internal or external, don't have the same power over that flame, over the ability to offer that purest, vulnerable, cracked open heart...in service of God, in service of the greater good, in service of love, in service of the divine. I feel like this is what God is showing me."
