You of little faith, why did you doubt? (Mat:14:31)
But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like the wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind; for the doubter, being double-minded and unstable in every way, must not expect to receive anything from the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. (Jas:1:6-8)
Below is a touching story shared by a brother, who expeienced sufferings but gaind faith with the help from his devote wife and their family's continuious prayer.
I was baptized after coming to the Lord in 2010, and as six years went by I considered myself an experienced Christian, who should have walked upon the path of faith very steadily. However I failed my expectation. I have tried to attend gatherings and participate in church service, during which the words of God often come to me, and sometimes I even get the feeling of being completely filled up by the Holy Spirit, like we are combined as one, so moved that I would burst into tears. But whenever I bump into troubles, or suffer from physical illness, my foundation of faith would crumble and loosen up like a fresh new-born.
Take my heart disease relapse as an example, which strictly challenged my faith. Because I work in the train traffic control of high-speed railway system, which requires specific technical skills and huge responsibility, for one tiny mistake could lead to accidents endangering many lives, the pressure slowly built up to the relapse of the once cured premature beat and tachycardia. When I couldn't take the sickness anymore and went home for vacation, watching me suffer, my wife would pray for God to heal me, and urged me to kneel down praying. But I would always lose my patience and argue with her, saying:" Isn't our God almighty? Isn't he watching over his children all the time? Why is that we still have to suffer from ordeals and illness? Look around! Those who don't believe in Jesus Christ seem all just fine, with healthy bodies and happy life. Do we need to suffer too, if we choose to follow the path of Christ? Those promises he made for us, would they come true?"...... All sorts of doubts, fallacies and complaints just flooded out, questioning the truth in the holy bible. This kind of behavior didn't look like a Christian of 4-year convert.
In Matthew 14:31, "You of little faith, why did you doubt? " I believe I was what he called the man of little faith.
My wife didn't hurry to object me, because after all those years we spent together, she already knew that I would not be cowed by force but yield to soft approach. So she kneeled down to pray, asking God to change me and guide me, while telling my experience with the Holy Spirit in tears. She didn't accuse me of my wrongdoing, but praised me for my small achievement on my path of faith, so a tough-looking guy like me couldn't resist her praise and affection, and gradually calmed down.
Since then, whenever I felt weak, she would gather me and our child together to pray, and that I should lead. If I said that I wasn't capable enough, she would encourage me with me being a brother, the spiritual lead of our family, that I am obliged to set an example for our kid. So I had no choice but to try it. My first pray was unsatisfying but she said it was good enough, and for the second one she would say that I had improvement. She didn't just guide me to pray, and took me to all kinds of gatherings, offering services; she also encouraged me to teach singing in bible study groups, discipleship, Bethany fellowship, industry, commerce and clerisy fellowship, while she played the piano.
My heart was fulfilled with joy and my spirit was set free singing praise, so thank the Lord! My spiritual life was renewed, changed and well-fed through studying holy bible and listening to preach, witnessed by every sister and brother in gatherings and services. In the mean time, my family kept daily praying for my heart condition.
Gradually I felt that God had heard my prayer, and greatly improved my health and my spirit. My faith grew fast. I started to believe that God is a faithful God, who stays by our side, and he would continue to heal me till I am cured. Two years has passed by, and my heart disease is cured by God, so now I can commit myself fully to my work without any sick feelings. My faith and gratefulness towards God increase day by day.
James1:6-8 reads " But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like the wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind; for the doubter, being double-minded and unstable in every way, must not expect to receive anything from the Lord. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." It tells us that to believe in Christ is to believe whole-heartedly, single-minded without a doubt. Believe in God's existence, and also his kind watching-over. We must drop all our personal opinions when we come in front of God, for he won't allow our self-interested prayers come true without obeying his will.
Also, we should understand the bright side that comes out of our sufferings and ordeals in life. When our mind is tested and challenged, we can benefit from it, absorbing a positive perspective on our difficulties instead of pretending to be happy. Let's see these challenges as chances to learn and grow, for they can teach us about being patient, so that our spiritual life would be built and raised. If everything goes well in our lives, why would anyone try to pray for help from a supreme God, or even believe his existence? When we experience ordeals, we tell our needs to God through prayers, asking and gratefulness. And he would bless us with unexpected peace and unburden our load. So it shows the almighty of God, and glorifies the name of our heavenly father.
(The writer ZhongYi is the husband of a church staff in ZhuMaDian, HeNan province.)
