In Brother H's life, many nights were spent peacefully falling asleep to Bible stories and familiar melodies. His mother would sometimes softly tell him stories of Jesus' miracles; other times, she would sing songs taught by her mother—"Little dove, coo coo coo, calling Jesus day and night…" These melodies were from rural villages in Henan: local, simple, and gentle. These sounds sowed the seeds of faith early in Brother H's heart.
H is a third-generation believer. His grandmother was an ordinary yet steadfast believer who passed faith on to the next generation in the simplest way. He grew up immersed in this spiritual atmosphere. Bible stories before bed, songs in daily life, and his mother's prayers all quietly shaped him. When he felt lonely or scared, he often thought of those melodies. Even when renting a room far from home, he would secretly sing the hymns from childhood. "That was my first spiritual connection with God," he said.
1. A Fractured Faith: Wandering in Youth
At age twelve, he began serving in the church. Inspired by his mother's story of Pastor Kou Shaoen, who started serving at the same age, and with a hint of stubborn pride, he responded, "I can do it too." So he began accompanying younger children and sharing Bible stories with them, noticing how much they liked him.
But soon, his life became "divided." Outgoing at school, he befriended a group of "street brothers"—fighting, skipping class, drinking… Things he had never encountered before filled him with novelty. This contrasted sharply with the boy who served on Sundays, sharing Bible stories. On the surface, there was no sign of struggle, but inwardly, he drifted in emptiness and conflict.
One day, he and his friends skipped class to go to an Internet café, but the head teacher found out. One friend's mother stormed in and gave her son two hard slaps. "I felt those slaps burning on my face as if they were meant for me," he said. Overcome with shame, he returned home to see his mother come out of the inner room with tear-streaked cheeks. She softly said, "No matter what happens, you must come home. Home will always be your harbor."
At that moment, his heart completely broke. He cried out, apologizing to his mother and confessing to God. He resolved not to make his mother sad anymore. From that day on, he studied hard. Though he didn't get into his ideal high school, he was willing to start over.
2. Walking With God in Loneliness
In high school, he made an extreme decision: cut off all social interaction and focus solely on studying. He forced himself to become silent and solitary. To outsiders, he seemed cold and aloof, but he was only trying to make up for past mistakes.
During this time, his mother continued to watch over him. Every week, she wrote down three Bible verses and placed them in his pencil case. Before lunch breaks, after dinner, and before bed, he would meditate on these verses and pray while walking. "This spiritual discipline gradually became the foundation of my faith," he said. Devotion was no longer a ritual, but a companionship.
In college, he was surprised that his mentor also encouraged "praying while walking." Secretly, he rejoiced: the way he practiced in high school was part of mature Christian life.
3. Faith Rooted Through Service
During university, he joined a fellowship. They studied truth together and discussed social issues like abortion, suicide, and premarital sex. Their pastors not only led Bible studies but also took them on trips to Macau and Hong Kong, exposing them to different churches and broadening their horizons.
At one camp, he went from participant to counselor, leading groups, caring for others, and preaching messages. "Every camp was a time of input and shaping. I realized God was not only changing me but also using me."
Brother H especially enjoyed sharing with others. When chatting with roommates, he would naturally speak about faith. For example, by talking about the ethics of premarital sex, he introduced the message of the gospel. Once, he reached out to a lonely classmate, leading him into church through friendship. "I told him Jesus is your best friend." He found this relational approach to evangelism both genuine and relevant.
What truly reshaped his understanding of "walking with God" was not campus but the workplace. Early in his career, he experienced extreme fatigue and confusion. Though he tried to maintain Bible reading and prayer, he often felt overwhelmed. He read many books on workplace devotion but found practice difficult.
A conversation with a pastor enlightened him: spiritual life is not about self-control. "I don't need to prove my relationship with God through spiritual exercises. When I'm tired, I can come to God tired; when life is chaotic, I can admit weakness. Isn't that also devotion?"
From then on, he sought God's grace in life's rhythms without forcing or avoiding. He knew, "Even if I'm imperfect, He still walks with me."
4. Passing on the Faith
Last year, Brother H's grandmother passed away. Seeing her lying peacefully, as if asleep, he thought of how she had taught his mother spiritual songs and how his mother had passed that faith on to him.
He hopes that one day, he can do the same—teaching God's truth according to his children's ages, so they come to church not just because of their parents, but because they truly meet the living God.
Throughout this journey, whether through books, pastors' guidance, or his own experience, Brother H deeply feels that God raises chosen people in every era to speak to their generation. He wants to be one of them.
"Just as Jacob could not rely solely on the God of his father Isaac, but had to wrestle with God and meet the ladder himself, I must move from the faith of my family to my faith; from childhood stories to life practice."
Having gone through all this, he is grateful for his mother, who prayed with tears in the night, and the Father God who opened His arms to welcome him like a prodigal son.
Originally published by the Gospel Times
- Translated by Katherine Guo
