I still think about how Jesus called Peter to change the world. Peter, just a regular fisherman, started reaching out to people beyond his everyday life of fishing. While his life would not be surrounded by a boat, a net, or fish, he had no clue that something incredible was in store for him.
Pastor Xu was a lot like that. She always imagined doing something significant for God.
Her Christian journey kicked off when she got close to Christians after her mom got sick. After her mom passed away, she was determined to keep things going by leading a small church with just a handful of people.
"At first, I felt pretty empty, full of ambition but just shouting slogans," she remembered from her early days in ministry. She thought faith was all about action. "I figured if you came to church and worked, I could even pay you… Whatever it took."
With tons of energy, she went back to her hometown to start a church. During the freezing winter, she gathered firewood and lit the stove on her own, showing her commitment. When funds were tight for the youth gathering, she found a rural family who offered some rooms, allowing everyone to sleep on the floor. She chipped in with cleaning and cooking just to save a few bucks.
During that tough time, she admitted it was really challenging, and she felt pretty frustrated at times. "Eventually, I realized it's not about that. What God really wants is your life and your relationship with Him," she said, reflecting on her experiences.
"This year, I feel like God is telling me, 'Start from me, start from the beginning.'" Now, her focus is on prayer and getting closer to God. No matter what she's doing, she starts with herself and goes back to basics. Even if it's just reading a chapter of the Bible, sharing a bit of the gospel, or mentoring one person, she's all about consistency.
Family means everything to Pastor Xu. She believes that, no matter how tough things get, she needs to bring her family to God.
When she wanted to go full-time in ministry, her husband wasn't on board—he liked the idea of being a Christian but thought devoting herself into ministry wasn't the right way. They hit some rocky patches, but when Pastor Xu humbled herself, acknowledged her husband's support, apologized, and served him, he slowly started to change his mind.
"I see what people really need. Lately, I've been helping them, praying for them, and guiding them," she shared.
For instance, one sister from the church was stressed out because her husband had serious debt. Pastor Xu suggested she pray at the church. After just one visit, the sister felt much better and more relaxed. Now they pray together every week.
Another sister was dealing with issues at home and often seemed down. She ran a small store, often staying up late and struggling to get up early. Pastor Xu encouraged her to join the early prayer meetings and went with her. After a few times, the sister's worries faded, and she even found herself singing on her way home, inspired to go to bed early and wake up for prayer.
"Sometimes I feel exhausted, like I have to guide one person at a time." But what keeps her going is the belief that all believers can be used by God. She said, "This year, let's ditch the slogans and just get things done ourselves."
- Translated by CJ Wang
