On Dec. 25, Ran Yunfei, one of China's 'One Hundred Public Intellectuals' shared how he feels after becoming a Christian in an article on his own microblog. Along with the article, he attached the old article he wrote in July, 2006: In China, Why Do I not Dare to Be a Christian?
He said, "I do this to show the growing process of my mind and spiritual life...Although I look like 'daring' to be a Christian, so weak, coward and sinful I am. The way I see the world and the requirements for myself are still the way of moralism that I'm righteous in my own way. These need to be nourished and grown in the embrace of the Lord."
Ran added a comment to his article: "I'm an opinionated man, full of pride, arrogance and self-righteousness. Actually no matter how talented we look, we like everyone are limited animals. Limited to what extent? We're so limited to have no capacity to love your beloved one while we often have ideas and ability to harm them. How hard it is to truly love others as yourself! In other words, the reason that I 'dare' to be a Christian is not that I become better than before but that I know the sin which would be never changed by myself."
"My old article is filled with errors I disagree with today(I disagree with the topic, while the reason I republish it is this: let my friends who want to know me see my changing experience). Because in my opinion, like most people, I like other religions in which man can only be saved to be a good man by his efforts. That's because I can't feel or understand deeply why the Lord's grace is free for I believe more there is 'love for no reason'. Thank God for giving a stubborn like me the chance and ability to know him. My spiritual life is just like a baby and I'm not reborn. I can't speak more reasonable word than the Lord or the Bible which keeps 'throats are open graves' in mind. Lord please have mercy and guard me. There is no one righteous or one worthy being worshipped, while I want to say out the word of Mother Teresa I like to my friends on Christmas: 'May God break my heart so completely that the whole world falls in.'"