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Difficulty of Getting Wed in the Church

Difficulty of Getting Wed in the Church

Christian Marriage Christian Marriage(pixabay)
ByCCD contributor: Paul Wu April 25, 2017
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Recently, an old sister from my church told me that she was worried about his son's marriage. Her son works as a director in a church and his monthly salary is around 3,000 yuan(some below average quality). Many sisters look down on him because he has no house. He is still alone even though he is 30 years old.

The difficulty of getting married is still very common in the church. Many brothers can't enter the hall of marriage due to low income or the lack of having a stable home. I have also communicated with many sisters around me about the issue. They include having a stable home as a necessary condition for marriage. Therefore, having a house is a key factor as to why it is difficult to get married in China today.

There is a famous joke online: "A mother-in-law is the promoter of China's housing prices." This joke reflects a phenomenon: If a man wants to get married, he must have at least one house. Even if you are full of knowledge, handsome or upright, you can't marry a girl without a house. In the 21st century, a house becomes a rigid demand in marriage.

Many Chinese people have to spend their entire family savings to buy a house in order to get married. Many of them become slaves of the house due to housing loans. Those young men who don't have enough money end up becoming bachelors. It was pointed out that Chinese marriages is based on materials. Marriage can exist without real love.

Under the teachings of secularization and the proliferation of successful theology, many people have been integrated into this kind of social atmosphere. Many sisters (including their parents) request their future husbands to be Christians. In addition to conversion, a house is also a necessary condition. As a result, many sisters become left women and many brothers can't marry a wife.

This kind of atmosphere has also affected the harmony of the church. For example, a brother is in love with a sister. Others in the church judge their relationship with a secular viewpoint. They say that the sister is beautiful and has a good job. However, the brother is so common and he doesn't even have a house. They used an old saying to describe their love: "A flower is inserted in cow dung." As a result, the couple just broke up. They also don't contact with the brothers and sisters in the church any more.

The difficulty of getting married is against the principles of the Bible. Marriage is the earliest system established by God. It is a sacred system designed for human kind. God hoped that men and women could love each other and maintain an intimate relationship like the relationship between Christians and the church.

God hates material marriage: "Love can't be put off by water or submerged by fire. If someone takes all the treasures in exchange with love, they will be despised." (Song of Solomon 8: 7). This verse has expressed the greatness of love and contempt for material love. Therefore, brothers and sisters must follow the willingness of God. Never materialize marriage.

Marriage based on a house may not be happy. In fact, the happiness of marriage depends on the love between the couple instead of material possessions. For example, a brother struggled for nearly a decade in order to buy a house. He did all these to marry a sister. However, less than a year after they got married, they went against the promise made in front of God and they got divorced. They found out that they were not suitable to one another.

In addition, when we buy a house, we should act according to our abilities. Jesus said: "Before you build a building, please calculate the cost first." (Luke 14:28) His words have told us the importance of rational consumption. We can't just blindly follow the wrong customs in the world. If we buy a house without considering our abilities, we will become house slaves. The quality of our life will be reduced sharply.

In order to pay the mortgage, they will be forced to engage in some extra work. The time allotted to reading the Bible, praying and attending gatherings will also be reduced, which have a bad influence on their spiritual growth. In fact, if the newlyweds can't afford a house, they can rent one.  They can purchase a house when they have enough money. Many young couples in Western developed countries do this method after marriage.

Christians are not ascetic. God also wanted us to have a good marriage. We shouldn't conform to the bad social atmosphere and customs attributed ot marriage. That is against the willingness of God. Some young brothers may have temporary difficulty. But, as long as he has good qualities, spiritual pursuit and a motivated heart, his wife won't suffer for a long time. 

Translated by Emma Ma

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