It's not uncommon for new Christians to be hindered from coming to Christ by their own family members. Parents don't allow their children to go to church, husbands think that their wives are wasting time, wives think that their husbands are risking their masculinity, children can't be left alone...one way or another, one of the biggest obstacles to overcome in our Christian walk is how to deal with our families when they become the reason why we can't go to church and grow.
In my family, I'm the first one who really pursued a journey with the Lord. My parents aren't saved and my brother has his own reasons. So, I was faced with a challenge. When I got saved, I had a job and I was able to sustain myself. But three months into salvation, I was fired from work and went back home to my parents. I lost it all. I wanted to go back to school because then my parents would provide for me again and money won't be an issue. But the Lord did not allow me to go back to school. "To fulfill all righteousness," He said.
The first year and a half wasn't much of a struggle in the family, but then my Mom got sick. When she went to the doctor, she already had stage four naso-pharyngeal cancer. She was dying. I don't come from a rich family, but we always have more than enough. We are blessed. But as my Mom's health deteriorated, so did our finances. I used to have a nice allowance to go to church but at this time, I had just exactly what I needed. Still OK. But then Mom got worse, and worse, and worse until she looked like a zombie. She no longer looked like my mom and we had to take care of her 24/7 as she couldn't even lift her own finger. The cancer took so much out of her that even her pinky finger was too heavy for her to lift. It was that bad. I was still OK with my Lord duties. I could get away with a trip to church 2 hours away from home once a week. And then, God told me to join the Music Ministry.
In my church, the Music Ministry requires a three day a week attendance: Prayer meeting, practice, and the Sunday Service. Now, money became an issue. I didn't have a job, Mom's dying, money was becoming difficult. Moreover, I had to take care of my mother.
Mom, she never liked my coming home after dinner. She worries when it gets dark. So constantly, she'd scold me because I had to do what God called me to do. She spoke very harsh words to me, really painful words. Add her worry to her sickness, can you imagine how terrible it was? Many days she'd tell me, "Don't go to church today." Other days, my brother would tell me the same thing because our Mother was dying. It's a valid reason to stay home, right? But for me, it wasn't.
I fear the Lord more than my family. And the words of Jesus kept me pushing towards where the Lord called me.
Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:37-39KJV
I love the Lord Jesus so much that I can't bear to be unworthy of Him, even if it meant that I had to disobey my dying Mom. I could bear the anger of my family but not the anger of God. I cannot lose the Lord. Everytime I had to go to church, I had the choice to either stay home and spend time with my Mom or go and obey God. I love my Mom. I'll never have another biological mother. From perfect health, I saw her deterioration. It was terribly painful. Each choice I made was painful. That was my Mom; the one who gave birth to me, took care of me...MY MOM. But I had to choose the Lord. I can't not choose the Lord. The situation in my family became the real hindrance in my case, but I could not afford to let even the worst of situations stop me from pursuing the Lord. Why?
Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or nother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. Mark 10:29-30KJV
The promise is this: If I chose the Lord, I will receive a hudredfold in this life and in eternity more than what I've sacrificed. So I did not lose. I gained a hundredfold.
The truth is, I'm not sure if I'm doing a good job explaining how my Mom's sickness hindered me. But it did. Five days after a major church event I had to leave home for three days for, my Mom died. Someone told me, "If you only knew that she was going to die then, you should have just stayed by her side and not leave for three days." That time, if I chose my Mom, I would not have been able to serve the Lord in a big event where many people got saved. After hearing that comment, I thought, "I don't regret it." I will never regret choosing the Lord over anyone. I guess I sound cold, but no. I can't let people determine how I will pursue my Jesus. I took my stand with the Lord even when it felt like my entire family and all my relatives hated me. I could bear the negative opinions of people. I barely care. What's important for me is the Lord. What will He think? Will He be pleased? People can't get me to heaven, but God can. My family cannot guarantee my salvation, but God does. There's only one Jesus, and family can be found outside the bloodline. And true enough, after my mother passed away, God gave me more mothers than I could ever ask for.
When our own families, or the circumstances that are surrounding our families, hinder us from pursuing the Lord, we can only do one of two things: take a stand with Jesus and bear whatever our families will throw at us, or, choose our families and bear potentially failing one of the greatest tests of discipleship.
When we choose the Lord, He promises to give us more than what we will sacrifice. If we don't choose Him, we can lose even our callings. It's a tough decision to make, no doubt. I know. But the decision has to be made; and choosing Jesus is always worth the sacrifice.
If we choose Jesus, we can't really lose. If we're worried about what could be lost, let's think about what we could gain.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33KJV
Let me tell you what this means.
If you put God above everything in your life, even your family, He'll give you everything else that you can possibly be concerned about. What worries you? Your relationships? God can give you more. God can restore your family if you put Him first. God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ever dare to ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).
Choose the Lord. You won't regret it.
After this, God began to prove Ephesians 3:20 to me. He's still at it and I know that there's more. In all certainty, I don't regret choosing the Lord.
Oh, my Mom accepted Jesus before she left, by the way. So I'll be seeing her in heaven one day. God is faithful.
