Recently, a Christian named Bowei, shared his story of how he was healed of depression. He was a postgraduate student in psychology and failed to treat himself, although he attempted many methods. He spent a large sum of money on treatment, but his illness got increasingly worse. In desperation, God's salvation came to this young man, and he was healed.
Diagnosed With Moderate Depression During His Study
After graduating with a bachelor's degree in psychology, Bowei continued to study psychology for a master's degree. Upon enrolling in his program, he realized he was the only male student in his class, except his tutor. He had very high expectations for his future, but soon he realized that there were too many academically better classmates. Moreover, his mentor expected highly of him. Yet, the more pressure he put on himself to achieve his goals, the worse he failed. When the outcomes always fell short of his expectations, he began to gradually fall into depression and kept closing himself off. He tried to talk to others about his inner depression, but none of his classmates could understand him.
The worse his situation got, the more miserable he became, so he began to use the psychological methods he had learned to relieve his inner pain and depression. For instance, he sang loudly in front of strangers to draw attention to himself. He used to go to arid places to scream. He tried very hard to relieve his emotions in these ways, but none of them worked.
After many attempts, Bowei felt that he had to see a psychiatrist, and he was eventually diagnosed with moderate depression. The doctor prescribed him a lot of antidepressants and instructed him to take them regularly. After coming out of the hospital, Bowei felt a sense of relief.
Talking about why he got depressed, Bowei said that he was not raised in a very healthy home. An absent father and an anxious mother created a child with mental problems.
He shared, "I had been a mommy's boy, and I was capable of nothing. I was more than often vulnerable, sensitive, and fragile." Because his father was reluctant to spend time with his family, his mom often complained that his father didn't care about the family. As a result, she overly cared about Bowei on matters like eating and drinking. "So, my character didn't inherit much of my father's ambition but rather my mother's sentimentalism."
Due to his dad's absence, Bowei lacked diligence. Instead, he focused more on relationships and the world of inner emotions. Growing up, he received very little fatherly love, so he always longed for his father's attention and acknowledgement. At his graduate school, his mentor was a man much like his father, so he wanted his mentor's approval, but when he realized that he couldn't achieve much, he became increasingly frustrated and later depressed.
His Condition Became More Serious After Trying Psychological Methods
After he was diagnosed with depression, Bowei began to seek the help of counselors. The first counselor was treating him with hypnosis, but Bowei did not feel sleepy at all. Rather, the counselor was about to fall asleep. Therefore, he was convinced that it was a charlatan counselor.
Then he went to see a counselor from a university of traditional Chinese medicine. However, that man made a mid-career switch and was not a psychology graduate. He gave Bowei a pep talk. After that, Bowei determined that he would never go to that session again.
After that, Bowei began to search the Internet to find depression-related books for help. By chance, he read a book written by a depressed person, which was about the author's experience of how he came out of depression. So, he met this author and bought a course of healing, but he still felt that the method could not address his root problems.
After many attempts, he spent much money, but his condition got worse. His sleep began to be impaired. He was groggy during the day. At night, he suffered from insomnia. On top of that, when other students were either studying or falling in love, he was interested in nothing.
The Light in Despair - Jesus
When he was at his lowest point, he came to a psychology event on intimacy organized by his tutor, which was attended by his classmates.
It was supposed to be an ordinary event, but the behavior of a female classmate caught his attention. It was always something warm and energetic about this girl. It was a feeling that contrasted sharply with the sense of despair that he had. "Although everyone was a psychology student, this female classmate stood out."
He later learned that his classmate was a Christian who then invited him to a Bible study at a youth fellowship.
The fellowship group was very welcoming to newcomers. It was Bowei's first show many people greeted him, which made him feel that they were warm and caring. However, he felt that the idea of God creating the heaven and the earth was absurd, as it conflicted with Darwin's theory of evolution.
Later, he was recommended to attend a church and was encouraged to read the book Song of a Wanderer. He said, "I made the decision to believe in the Lord because of this book, which mainly explains the relationship between science and faith. Since childhood, our way of thinking has already been shaped so that we believe in Darwin's theory of evolution. So, it's hard to believe there is a God. However, this book presents many comparisons between science and faith. It was then that I realized the values I had held since I was a child were wrong. After reading the book, the pride and self-centeredness in me were shattered."
At that time, he wholeheartedly accepted the salvation of the Lord Jesus.
Depression Fully Healed by God
From that point on, he gradually integrated into the church and attended Sunday services regularly. Meanwhile, he let go of all his previous methods for dealing and devoted himself entirely to his Christian faith. For about a month, he focused intensely on reading the Bible and praying. During that time, he felt very close to God. It was like being on a honeymoon with Him.
"For about a month, I didn't fight my depression. I even forgot that I had depression. I stopped taking medication, and after a month, it disappeared. I found that I no longer had issues with interpersonal relationships, my social withdrawal improved, and I was set free from that bondage. Since that experience, my depression has never returned," he said joyfully.
"Although I rarely received a hug from my father, I experienced the embrace of the Lord Jesus in my church. In the past, I might have treated success and others' approval as idols, which led me into depression and made it impossible to focus on anything else. But when God shattered the idols in me and turned me toward Him, my life was transformed. Even my relationship with my father was restored, something that could only have been reconciled through faith."
- Edited by Karen Luo, translated by Charlie Li
