In an ordinary small town in northern China, Xiaohang was once a fiery woman whom no one dared to cross. She was quick-witted in speech and even quicker in actions. For twenty years, she had established herself with her hairdressing skills, which also cemented her resolute, uncompromising, and somewhat fierce personality.
She had never imagined that someone like her would ever come to believe in Jesus. Even less did she expect that one day she would stand in a pulpit and tearfully recount what a sinner she had been.
At that time, people would certainly not call her "Mrs. Pastor" (a culturally specific term used in China to refer to a pastor's wife, translator's note); they would only call her "Xiaohang" or "Lan Hai's wife" (a culturally specific way of addressing a woman by her husband's name in China, translator's note).
Lan Hai, her husband, was a gentle, quiet young man who studied fine art. After graduating from university, he was assigned a job in the town, securing a permanent position that everyone envied in that era. They married, had a child, and their life was no different from that of most small-town couples. However, it has all changed since Lan Hai came to believe in the Lord.
"From that time, my wife started to struggle with me for years," Pastor Lan Hai recalls. Xiaohang felt her husband, Lan Hai, was "possessed" and "utterly bewitched" by that invisible man called Jesus.
Lan Hai became a believer much earlier than Xiaohang. Initially, Xiaohang did not take it too seriously, only believing that her husband was momentarily confused by following a bunch of idle "aged ladies" in town for a lark. However, after a while, he started attending gatherings every night, and later, to her surprise, he even began to talk about ideas of studying theology.
"Looking at him got me furious," Xiaohang confesses. "Once he was back from the evening gathering, and asked me to open the door. I simply kicked him when he was in."
In the northern winter, the temperature can drop to below minus 10 degrees Celsius at night after 10 o'clock. Once, Lan Hai came home from a gathering at around that time. Wrapped in his coat, he pleaded desperately with Xiaohang to open the door, but she refused. She shouted behind the door, "Aren't you a believer in Jesus? Those who believe in Jesus don't feel cold. If you feel cold, it means you don't really believe." No matter how much Lan Hai begged, she would not open the door. Freezing and desperate, he had no choice but to move stones back and forth in the yard to keep warm by staying active.
Sometimes Lan Hai had not eaten dinner when he returned from night meetings. He was hungry when he got home, but just as he picked up his bowl, Xiaohang would snatch it away and throw it outside. "You believe in Jesus, so your God won't let you starve, and you don't need to eat at all!"
What truly set Xiaohang off was Lan Hai's decision to go to seminary.
At the time, Lan Hai had been assigned by his workplace to go to Shenzhen to study printing technology, with plans to invest in and start a printing factory upon his return. His superior thought highly of him and even wanted to be his reference for a promotion. Unexpectedly, Lan Hai refused, stating, "I am a Christian, I don't want a promotion."
Xiaohang completely failed to understand his mind. Back then, everyone, from the civil servants to the ordinary citizens, dreamed of possessing cash and "achieving moderate prosperity," and everyone was thinking about how to make more money and live a better life. Yet, among all people, Lan Hai was following a bunch of elderly women to believe in Jesus. That was bad enough, but was he really going to abandon a promising future to study theology?
"Don't you dare, or I'll divorce you!" Xiaohang directly issued the ultimatum.
She was not just saying it in anger; she meant it. On the day of the seminary entrance exam, Lan Hai left alone for the train station, hiding his plan from her. She then took a train and followed him to the location of the exam. What angered Xiaohang even more was that despite her best efforts to obstruct his studies, Lan Hai still managed to be enrolled in the program, albeit in an extremely coincidental way. That year, the seminary planned to enroll 40 students, and Lan Hai ranked 41st in the exam, so he missed the cutoff with no hope. Unexpectedly, the candidate who ranked 40th was unable to enroll due to a severe skin disease. Lan Hai was then admitted as the replacement.
Lan Hai thus went off to seminary and became the class rep. Xiaohang stayed in town, running her hair salon, but resentment would not leave her thoughts.
After graduation, Lan Hai began to preach and serve in various churches. Xiaohang's opposition was more intense. Previously, Lan Hai was only gone at night, but now he was out all day. Whenever Lan Hai went out to a gathering, she would hold onto his bicycle to stop him from leaving. Later, Lan Hai stopped arguing with her; he would just pray quietly: "Lord, I will carry my wife to you, even if I have to physically carry her."
Xiaohang overheard the prayer by chance, and it stirred more anger in her. She even issued a challenge to her husband: "Tell your God to give me a drawerful of money! I want to see if your God is real!"
Lan Hai never argued with her, only persisting in attending gatherings, reading the Bible, and praying. He often humbly served her, for example, by frequently washing her feet. However, his gentleness and patience only made Xiaohang more irritable.
The turning point was when a severe road accident was narrowly avoided.
At the time, Lan Hai was running a training class in a certain church. One day, Xiaohang took their son on a bus to find him. Everything was peaceful until the bus was halfway there. At a sharp corner of the road, the bus nearly collided head-on with a large oncoming truck at high speed. In such a terrifying scene, Xiaohang was so frightened that she held her child in her arms, sitting there motionless, believing that it was God who had saved them.
When they arrived, Lan Hai had just finished the sermon. Xiaohang, emboldened by a sudden surge of courage, walked directly onto the pulpit without greeting anyone. She did not talk about the terrifying car crash that had just happened, but instead began to confess what a terrible woman she was. She spoke in tears, recounting all the years how she had persecuted her husband and opposed his faith. She made public confessions of her sins before the congregation.
On the pulpit, Xiaohang revealed her entire past, including both visible and invisible sins, such as the inner filth and selfish desires in her heart. She poured everything out, weeping as she spoke.
Soon after, Xiaohang was formally baptized and came to believe in the Lord. During her baptism, she saw a vision. Xiaohang says, "When I knelt to pray, it was like a movie screen came down, and the main character of this 'movie' was myself. In the vision, I saw all my sins. Especially the sinful thoughts and intentions in my heart that others didn't know about, like wanting to divorce Lan Hai and be with other men. God revealed all these evil desires and lusts to me. At that time, I had all kinds of bad thoughts and intentions; I just hadn't acted on them, but they were all in my heart. If not for God's faithful care, our family would truly have been ruined."
Xiaohang's transformation astonished everyone who knew her. After all, the once famous "female Saul" had now utterly changed, becoming a "female Paul", and she began to serve the church with great zeal and enthusiasm. Her relationship with Lan Hai has completely improved. They no longer argued but instead devoted themselves to church ministry together, becoming a well-known "preaching couple" in the area. The couple has served the Lord together for over thirty years.
Reflecting on her experience, Xiaohang always gives glory to God, "It is not that I am good, but that God is good." The woman who once could shut her own loving husband out in the freezing cold and routinely let him go to bed hungry now intercedes for her enemies in prayers.
The woman who once forced her husband to prove God's existence with "a drawerful of money" now says: "Lord, as long as I don't die of hunger, I will follow you always."
Originally published by the Christian Times
- Edited by Karen Luo and translated by Charlie Li
