Editor's note: American Christian couple Ashley Kellogg and her husband had a big multicultural family: six biological children and also seven children with special needs adopted from different countries. They took one more step forward—embryo adoption—to give life a chance.
In 2017, after China changed its rules for adoptive families that disqualified us from going back, we were discussing adoption options. We already had Frannie and Finton from China, in addition to six biological children. (To read their adoption story, please click here) However, our hearts still desire to meet the needs of other orphans. My friend Dana mentioned adopting embryos left over from IVF (in-vitro Fertilization) cycles that couples did not plan on transferring. Once a couple has grown their family through IVF, sometimes there are embryos left over that are either destroyed, donated to research, or become adoptable. We actually then searched for embryos that were tested to have Down syndrome, knowing they were often discarded or unwanted, but we were told repeatedly that they were always discarded. In the meantime, we learned about The National Down Syndrome Adoption Network. About 30 babies with Down syndrome are placed with adoptive families every year in the United States. In response, we got ourselves added to their registry and were eventually matched with Theo in 2019.
Then, four months later, we found out about Micah, and a year later, in the midst of a pandemic, we found out about Bryant. And just months later, we had Lottie, all through second-chance adoption. The Lord had clearly called us into these situations, and we were happy to say yes to what was best for our family. I would not change a thing. We are so incredibly blessed by our kids and humbled by the honor of being their parents.
But all the while, my desire to birth another child was still stirring within me. We had always talked about giving birth to a child after Theo because they would be so good for his development, just like Trixie has been for Frannie, who has Down syndrome. I was almost 40, and I knew this dream had a time stamp on it, but I also wanted the Lord’s will and not my own.
Once we decided we wanted to grow our family again, we knew that giving life to frozen embryos, rather than creating yet another biological Kellogg, was another way we could live out our deep convictions that every life matters and every child deserves life. Unlike most families, we chose embryos that had been frozen for over 5 years, whose mother was older, not of the highest grade, and also from mixed races. All these factors make them “less desirable." Most of the families adopting embryos have been unable to get pregnant without extensive interventions. In this case, they choose the highest-quality embryos with the best chances of being successful in growing their families. In contrast, we wanted to give life to an embryo that might not have had a chance otherwise. Since I have been blessed with great fertility, we knew some of those factors may not affect a successful transfer for me. We discovered two Vietnamese and Russian embryos who matched our family perfectly. I traveled to Portland to transfer our first one in September 2021. We knew the chances of pregnancy were fairly slim, but we also know God can do anything! So, we looked forward to announcing a pregnancy in October.
But sadly, we lost both of them that same week. The transferred one was never implanted. The second one had to be thawed at the same time due to being frozen together. He or she did not continue to grow in the embryology lab, and the embryologists were unable to refreeze it for a future transfer. Two little humans never even felt the warmth of a womb. These embryos were over 10 years old, and their chance of survival was around 30%. But we still love them fiercely and dream about meeting them someday. We’ve since named them Mercy and Promise, and they will always be in our hearts. They have already achieved the prize for which we are all living each day—an eternity with their Creator and Savior. It is a promise we believe in with all our hearts, and God gave mercy in that they never had to endure the heartaches of this world.
Being in IVF and embryo adoption Facebook groups, my heart has broken at the sheer number of losses that families go through to have children. And even the terminology used to explain these losses, "chemical pregnancy” and “failed transfer" —does not denote the worth and value of these embryos.
I lost two babies, but their presence changed this world through our story. We did not fail at anything as we ushered them into the arms of Jesus. It was His perfect plan all the time, despite the fact that they left us with empty arms. This loss might not seem significant to others because we already have twelve children, six that I have birthed and six that we’ve adopted. In that regard, we did not tell all our friends. Still, losing these babies has broken me, yet I trust the Lord’s plan too. No life is insignificant, and no loss is unworthy of grief. Many families have grieved the loss of babies before they held them and even after they had embraced them. One in every four women has lost a baby before they were born or before their first birthday. Many feel silenced because it is uncomfortable to talk about. We should be able to
Talk about them,
Call them by name.
Remember their birthdays.
Pray for their families.
Not to forget them.
A few months later, in November 2021, I traveled back to Portland to transfer another embryo. This time we chose two more embryonic siblings who were Filipino, Greek, Mexican, or Polish. We trusted God’s plan for them. Our first embryo took hold, and on Valentine's Day 2022, we found out I was pregnant.
Norie Musetta Rose was born on August 6, 2022. She is perfect in every way. And we look forward to transferring her sibling in 2023 or 2024!
We are so proud of our multicultural family. We feel it is in the heart of God to take in orphans, blend cultures together in love, allow the Lord to grow our family, and give children the love of a mom, dad, and extended family who may never have the opportunity.
Our miracle baby’s journey:
7.2.2016 Frozen in Time
7.9.2021 Donated with Love
9.30.2021 Adopted with Hope
11.11.2021 Transferred in Faith
8.6.2022 Born with Joy
编者按：美国基督徒夫妇Ashley Kellogg和丈夫拥有一个多元化大家庭：6个亲生的孩子和领养了7个拥有特殊需要的孩子。他们再跨出了一步——胚胎领养——给生命一次机会。
2017年，在中国改变了领养家庭的规定，我们不能再继续去中国领养。我们已经从中国领养了Frannie和Finton，还有6个亲生孩子。（阅读Ashley的领养故事，请点击这里）但是，我们仍然渴望领养更多孤儿。我的朋友 Dana 提起领养胚胎，就是采用体外受精（IVF - In vitro fertilization）过程中剩下的胚胎，即发育的受精卵。这些胚胎，其实就是潜在的婴儿，要么被消毁，要么捐赠给研究机构，也可以被领养。实际上，那些测试出有唐氏综合症的胚胎很可能被丢弃，很少保存。根据国家唐氏综合症领养网络，美国每年只有 30 多名唐氏婴儿被领养。我们的唐氏儿Theo就是通过这个系统在2019年领养的。
过了仅四个月，我们添了Micah。一年后，就在新冠病疫期间，我们相继迎来了 Bryant 和 Lottie。主清楚地呼召我们进入这些孩子的生命。对此，我很乐意对主说“是”，这是我不变的决定。这些孩子带给我们无比的祝福，成为他们的父母感到荣幸和谦卑。
再生一个孩子的念头一直在我的心中搅动。看到女儿Trixie对我的唐氏儿Frannie的发育非常有帮助。 虽然年龄相差5岁， 她俩的发育成长阶段相当。我们希望再生一个能陪伴 Theo 成长。我快 40 岁了，这个梦想有年岁的戳记…… 也要听从主的旨意，而不是我自己的愿望。
一旦我们决定要再生一个，我们可以走传统的妊娠过程，也可以领养冷冻的胚胎。我们选择了后着，因为我们坚信每一个潜在的生命都弥足珍贵。而且我们选择了大多数家庭不会领养的胚胎 - 冷冻超过 5 年、母亲年龄较大的混血胚胎。那些无法怀孕的夫妇，不得不采取人工干预的办法来生产婴儿，他们一定要用最高质量的胚胎以确保生产成功。但我们的情况不同。我的生育能力很强，可能给一个没有机会的孩子带来生命。于是我们选择了 2个适合我们的家庭的胚胎，他们是越南人/俄罗斯人的混血。2021年9月，我前往波特兰“植入”了第一个胚胎。我们明白怀孕的机会相当渺茫，但我们也知道上帝无所不能！所以，我们期待在10月有怀孕的结果。
遗憾的是我们在同一周失去了他们两个。植入的那个没能着床, 另一个在实验室里失去。两个胚胎冻在一起，必须同时解冻。第一个植入后， 第二个应该在实验室里继续生长，然而，这没有发生，也无法重新冷冻用于将来的移植。两个小人没能感受过子宫的温暖。 他们储存超过10年了，存活率在30%左右。我们仍然深深地爱着他们，梦想有一天能见到他们。我们将他们命名为 Mercy（怜悯）和 Promise（应许）。他俩会永远在我们心中， 相信他们与他们的创造者和救主共度永恒，免受这个世界的破碎和心痛。
我们已经有 13 个孩子，6 个亲生的，7个领养的，你也许觉得失去这两个胚胎宝宝无关紧要。但是失去他们还是一样让我心碎。然而，我要相信主的计划，他们在地上看似微不足道的日子和存在也许就是为了成为我们故事的一部分。
没有生命是微不足道的，损失他们是值得悲伤的。很多家庭在怀抱婴儿之前，甚至在拥抱婴儿之后，都曾失去过婴儿。每 4 位女性中就有 1 位在婴儿出生之前或在 1 岁生日之前失去过婴儿。很多人在无声中悲伤，悲伤不被承认。其实我们应该：
谈论他们，
叫他们的名字，
记住他们的生日，
为他们的家人祈祷，
他们不应该被遗忘。
几个月后，在 2021 年 11 月，我返回波特兰，又选择了两个是兄弟姐妹的胚胎，他们是菲律宾人/希腊人/墨西哥人/波兰人的混血。我们植入了第一个胚胎，把她、他交在上帝手里。在 2022 年情人节，我的得以成功怀孕！
2022 年 8 月 6 日，Norie Musetta Rose 出生！她各方面都很完美！我们准备在 2023 年或 2024 年领养移植她的兄弟姐妹！
Norie比Theo小3岁多，但她的发育年龄会很快赶上Theo。所以他俩会成为很好的成长伙伴。
我们为我们的多元文化家庭感到骄傲！我们觉得接纳孤儿是上帝的心意，在爱中将不同文化融合在一起，让上帝使我们的家庭成长，并给孩子们可能永远没有机会的父母和大家庭的爱。
我们的胚胎宝宝Norie的里程碑：
7.2.2016 在凝固的时间里等待
7.9.2021 因爱被捐赠
9.30.2021 在希望中领养
11.11.2021 用信心移植
8.6.2022 带着满满的爱出生
翻译：Clyde Xi
我们的胚胎领养的故事
Editor's note: American Christian couple Ashley Kellogg and her husband had a big multicultural family: six biological children and also seven children with special needs adopted from different countries. They took one more step forward—embryo adoption—to give life a chance.
In 2017, after China changed its rules for adoptive families that disqualified us from going back, we were discussing adoption options. We already had Frannie and Finton from China, in addition to six biological children. (To read their adoption story, please click here) However, our hearts still desire to meet the needs of other orphans. My friend Dana mentioned adopting embryos left over from IVF (in-vitro Fertilization) cycles that couples did not plan on transferring. Once a couple has grown their family through IVF, sometimes there are embryos left over that are either destroyed, donated to research, or become adoptable. We actually then searched for embryos that were tested to have Down syndrome, knowing they were often discarded or unwanted, but we were told repeatedly that they were always discarded. In the meantime, we learned about The National Down Syndrome Adoption Network. About 30 babies with Down syndrome are placed with adoptive families every year in the United States. In response, we got ourselves added to their registry and were eventually matched with Theo in 2019.
Then, four months later, we found out about Micah, and a year later, in the midst of a pandemic, we found out about Bryant. And just months later, we had Lottie, all through second-chance adoption. The Lord had clearly called us into these situations, and we were happy to say yes to what was best for our family. I would not change a thing. We are so incredibly blessed by our kids and humbled by the honor of being their parents.
But all the while, my desire to birth another child was still stirring within me. We had always talked about giving birth to a child after Theo because they would be so good for his development, just like Trixie has been for Frannie, who has Down syndrome. I was almost 40, and I knew this dream had a time stamp on it, but I also wanted the Lord’s will and not my own.
Once we decided we wanted to grow our family again, we knew that giving life to frozen embryos, rather than creating yet another biological Kellogg, was another way we could live out our deep convictions that every life matters and every child deserves life. Unlike most families, we chose embryos that had been frozen for over 5 years, whose mother was older, not of the highest grade, and also from mixed races. All these factors make them “less desirable." Most of the families adopting embryos have been unable to get pregnant without extensive interventions. In this case, they choose the highest-quality embryos with the best chances of being successful in growing their families. In contrast, we wanted to give life to an embryo that might not have had a chance otherwise. Since I have been blessed with great fertility, we knew some of those factors may not affect a successful transfer for me. We discovered two Vietnamese and Russian embryos who matched our family perfectly. I traveled to Portland to transfer our first one in September 2021. We knew the chances of pregnancy were fairly slim, but we also know God can do anything! So, we looked forward to announcing a pregnancy in October.
But sadly, we lost both of them that same week. The transferred one was never implanted. The second one had to be thawed at the same time due to being frozen together. He or she did not continue to grow in the embryology lab, and the embryologists were unable to refreeze it for a future transfer. Two little humans never even felt the warmth of a womb. These embryos were over 10 years old, and their chance of survival was around 30%. But we still love them fiercely and dream about meeting them someday. We’ve since named them Mercy and Promise, and they will always be in our hearts. They have already achieved the prize for which we are all living each day—an eternity with their Creator and Savior. It is a promise we believe in with all our hearts, and God gave mercy in that they never had to endure the heartaches of this world.
Being in IVF and embryo adoption Facebook groups, my heart has broken at the sheer number of losses that families go through to have children. And even the terminology used to explain these losses, "chemical pregnancy” and “failed transfer" —does not denote the worth and value of these embryos.
I lost two babies, but their presence changed this world through our story. We did not fail at anything as we ushered them into the arms of Jesus. It was His perfect plan all the time, despite the fact that they left us with empty arms. This loss might not seem significant to others because we already have twelve children, six that I have birthed and six that we’ve adopted. In that regard, we did not tell all our friends. Still, losing these babies has broken me, yet I trust the Lord’s plan too. No life is insignificant, and no loss is unworthy of grief. Many families have grieved the loss of babies before they held them and even after they had embraced them. One in every four women has lost a baby before they were born or before their first birthday. Many feel silenced because it is uncomfortable to talk about. We should be able to
Talk about them,
Call them by name.
Remember their birthdays.
Pray for their families.
Not to forget them.
A few months later, in November 2021, I traveled back to Portland to transfer another embryo. This time we chose two more embryonic siblings who were Filipino, Greek, Mexican, or Polish. We trusted God’s plan for them. Our first embryo took hold, and on Valentine's Day 2022, we found out I was pregnant.
Norie Musetta Rose was born on August 6, 2022. She is perfect in every way. And we look forward to transferring her sibling in 2023 or 2024!
We are so proud of our multicultural family. We feel it is in the heart of God to take in orphans, blend cultures together in love, allow the Lord to grow our family, and give children the love of a mom, dad, and extended family who may never have the opportunity.
Our miracle baby’s journey:
7.2.2016 Frozen in Time
7.9.2021 Donated with Love
9.30.2021 Adopted with Hope
11.11.2021 Transferred in Faith
8.6.2022 Born with Joy
Our Embryo Adoption Story
