Terry Parkman, a NextGen pastor at River Valley Church in Minneapolis, works primarily with Generation Z and Generation Alpha. He and his wife Christina are raising two daughters. Drawing from his personal experience, Parkman encourages parents to take responsibility for discipling their children, emphasizing that parents need to "be the church they go to."
Parkman outlines three key practices for parents seeking to disciple their children effectively.
First, parents must develop a deep walk with Jesus themselves. "You can't lead people to places you've never been," Parkman said. Spiritual depth is essential for parents before they can guide their children in faith.
Second, discipleship begins with Scripture and conversation. Parkman reassures parents that they don't need to be experts to disciple their children; they only need to know slightly more than their kids. He encourages parents to spend time in the word of God, read Scripture with their children, and engage them in questions, fostering meaningful dialogue.
Third, parents should always discuss how to act on the knowledge they gain. Parkman cautions against merely absorbing information at church without applying it in daily life. He encourages parents to challenge their children: "Given the Scripture we read, how are you going to change the world with what you know? How does this change your life? How does it change your behaviors?"
To illustrate, Parkman shares an example of a conversation he had with his eight-year-old daughter after reading the Christmas story in the New Testament. The story describes how everyone had to travel to Bethlehem for the census. Their dialogue unfolded like this:
Daughter: What's the census?
Father: Census is when everyone is counted so they can pay taxes to the government.
Daughter: What are taxes?
Father: Taxes are money we pay the government to keep it running.
Daughter: Why were Mary and Joseph there?
Father: They were there to have Jesus, but they had to go to Bethlehem because they had to pay taxes. God used the taxes to fulfill the prophecy.
From there, Parkman discussed prophecy and asked his daughter, "What is something God is asking you to do today that doesn't make sense now but might lead to something big tomorrow?" He explained that taxes and traveling to Bethlehem seemed insignificant at the time but ultimately contributed to the birth of Jesus. His daughter responded thoughtfully, saying, "I'm going to stop complaining about the little boring things in my life."
Reflecting on the exchange, Parkman emphasizes that simply asking and answering questions while engaging with Scripture can create meaningful memories for children.
He also highlights the importance of faith and learning for parents during the discipleship process. Parents should trust the Holy Spirit to guide their conversations and provide wisdom. At the same time, they should invest in building their knowledge by attending classes, reading, and learning. "The more knowledge you have, the more the Holy Spirit can use it to do what He wants to do," he said.
For additional resources, Parkman recommends the Orange curriculum, which provides many parenting tools.
