"If a man does not care for his own family, how can he care for God's church?"
On how married ministers balance ministry and family, Pastor Liang firmly opposes the teaching of "abandoning the family for ministry," and points out the theological root: a one-sided interpretation of Scripture, which has led to family tragedies.
Among older generations of preachers, some interpreted literally "love the Lord more than family," and thus prioritized ministry above family responsibilities.
Pastor Liang has heard of ministers who were more passionate about ministry than their families for years, resulting in wives who could never forgive them and children who harbored deep resentment. "Though such service appears zealous, it is truly regrettable," Pastor Liang admitted. He explained that this imbalance stems from misinterpreting biblical examples. He specifically pointed out, "The fact that the Apostle Peter traveled with his wife shows that family and ministry can coexist. In fact, family is one of the most crucial foundations of ministry. Paul, though single, never opposed Peter's approach of ministering alongside his wife. From Paul's words, we can even see that he was supportive of it."
"Even if we refer to the Bible, the stress between family and ministry will not disappear." Pastor Liang emphasized that the challenge is essentially the same as the modern workplace conflict between career and family. The key lies in responding by faith, not compromising one's calling due to family pressure, nor sacrificing family in blind dedication to ministry. He stressed that every family situation is unique: children's ages, the spouse's condition, the needs of aging parents, and so on all vary, so there is no one-size-fits-all solution. People should not expect to use a certain pastor's "successful family case" as an ultimate model.
Pastor Liang urged preachers to abandon the so-called "standard answer" to the stress but to turn to the practice of faith: "Lord, in the face of this stress, what do You want me to do?" He reminded them that faith-based decisions may lead to unexpected guidance. Sometimes it could be continuing in one's ministry, and other times stepping back for a season of rest. The key is whether we are genuinely seeking and submitting to God's direction. Stepping down because one is "burnt out and can't go on" is fundamentally different from stepping down out of a prompting received in faith.
Addressing the financial pressures that preachers often face (e.g., low salaries leading to marital strain), Pastor Liang shared his personal experience: years ago, he and his wife moved to a city to serve a church, using their savings to support themselves. The salary couldn't even cover rent. However, because they were sure God had called them there, they willingly used their own savings to meet both church and family needs. Over the years, their savings were used up, but they held on to their conviction that it was God who had led them there, so they did not give up due to hardship.
Later, when they went to a new place to plant a church, the commission church struggled to continuously pay them. During this time, they experienced God's miraculous provision. Some believers were moved to donate money for rent during the church's early stage. Pastor Liang's public platform also generated just enough money through subscribers' payments to meet their needs. He emphasized that the key to facing hardship is honest surrender to God. "The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want." This should be the economic theology of every preacher's household.
Pastor Liang referenced Paul, who, when necessary, supported himself by making tents while preaching the gospel. He believes the practical path forward will always be flexible. What matters is that when ministers face challenges, they should pray and seek the Lord to make decisions in faith.
In conclusion, Pastor Liang warned: family crises are like "rain and floods" that will eventually reveal the foundation of one's faith. Collapse is only a matter of time if the ministry is not built on the rock of the gospel, "Christ and Him crucified." He called on small churches to stop relying on systems and structures. When difficulties arise, it's a time for both the church and its leaders to turn to God. When a preacher's life is rooted in true faith and trust, he said, "As we learn to turn to the living and true God in every stress, the 'Red Sea' will part for us."
For married preachers, the way to balance family and ministry is not found in perfect time management or choosing one over the other. Rather, it lies in the daily affirmation of this truth: Who is truly the head of the family and the church? When both the altar and the dining table become places of worship, faith can transform the seeming dilemma into the two wings that carry us together on the path to heaven.
Originally published by the Christian Times
- Edited by Karen Luo and translated by Charlie Li
