I am a patient suffering from ankylosing spondylitis. To go outside, I have to use an electric wheelchair. Next, I’d like to share with you the changes that happened to my body and mind and the different states that I was in, before and after knowing God.
Before coming to the Lord Jesus, I had no direction and no destination. Bitterness ached all over my body and I lived in a self-enclosed world. Even though I was able to walk at the time, I actually had already lost my freedom.
Back then I started being badly affected by the disease and it began affecting my mood. Plus, given the suffering and pain caused by the illness, I lost my temper with the people around me. Even sometimes when my mother brought food to me, I knocked it over onto the floor.
Today I really desire to taste the meal that my mother always made but I didn’t like it at all at that time. However, death separates us, and I can’t bring her back to life.
After being ravaged and polished by life, and devastated by the disease, I entered a state of not being afraid of death, not caring about anything, even life. I left myself to live or die like wild grass.
After knowing God, through drawing intimacy with God, I have learned to be humble and grateful. Also, my life has been changed and upgraded. I am not controlled by emotions. I return to my true self - the self in Christ, the one who is not held hostage by evil spirits or emotions.
Able-bodied people are not necessarily healthy. Likewise, handicapped people are not necessarily unhealthy! In fact, we are all patients who need healing by Jesus Christ, the doctor from heaven!
Christians, we can see things from another perspective. You can find the good in the bad as long as you are willing to look for it. We can always learn or gain some experience or knowledge from anything or anyone.
Instead of complaining about what is missing in our life, we should think more about what life has given us. Life does not owe us anything. What we have now is enough for us to be grateful.
Life is an arduous journey. It is a lesson that makes us more complete and divine by experiencing hardships and being polished through the suffering of the world. It is a factory that moulds our lives and shapes our souls.
Suffering from ankylosing spondylitis, I live lying in bed all year round. By God’s special gift of grace given to me, I live every day in God’s grace and joy. Sometimes I even forget that I am a patient.
- Translated by Shuya Wang