From Broken Marriage, Disease-Ridden, She Yells to God for Healing

A cross against the light in a cave
A cross against the light in a cave
By Jin YangMarch 30th, 2022

In 1987, at the age of 18, I was one point away from the selected students' list in the gaokao, China's national college entrance exam. So I took an English class for self-study and exam preparation for students who prefer English as their higher education at the Jinling Institute of Technology. Our English teachers said that if we would like to take English as a major study, we should have some understanding of the religious culture of the UK and the US. Because of this, several of our classmates and I went to the St. Paul’s Church every Wednesday afternoon.

I still remember the first time I entered the church, I was in awe at the solemnity of the church. After listening to the pastor’s preaching, I felt comforted at the same time. What impressed me the most on that day was that there was a sister and her younger brother who were sitting in the final row of the pews, both of them looking a bit different. It was said that since the day they failed the gaokao exam, both of them had got dementia, one becoming taciturn, sullen, not interested in anything; the other one becoming radical, yelling at things and people around them easily without proper reasons.

The last time I saw them was the end of the semester before our holidays. When I went to the church with my classmates again, the pair of siblings were also sitting at the last pew. However, they were kneeling down at that time, each holding a Bible in their hand. They were silent, looking joyful.

I was wondering why they didn’t go to the doctors for healing. A female believer told me that it was because they were from a poor family, they could not afford the fee to consult the doctors. They came here to listen to the gospel. From hearing all of this, I was so astonished and grateful that God’s healing hands were really on them. From their story, I asked myself, “Is there really a wonderful God who is ruling over all of the things in the universe?”

Later, a female member of the church contacted me, inviting me to study more from the Bible. However, at that time, I focused on my work, pursuing fame, status, and promotion, so I gradually walked away from God. After I started my own little family, my husband betrayed me when I had been pregnant for just less than three months. With a strong personality, I decided to divorce with my husband, living alone with my child. Those days were difficult, though I could still continue without being defeated.

In September 2010, I had been in a low-grade fever with the trouble of sleeping and eating. Every morning when I brushed my teeth, my gums bled and I felt so weak. After my nine days of infusion therapy at the community clinic, I did not feel any better. The clinic advised me to receive deeper check-ups in bigger a hospital. When the results came out, the doctor did not tell me directly what illness I suffered.

I knew from my mother that I had got leukemia! If my therapy processed well, I could live several more years. But from my current health condition at the time, I was told I only had six more months to live.

Seeing I was depressed, the doctors asked my nurse who helped me with daily infusion therapy to send me to a psychologist after an infusion therapy session. Several days later, I went home since I was missing my child. On that day, I knelt down before the balcony which was located in the northern part of my house, with a thought flashing by, “God! Could you please save my life like how you saved the pair of siblings meanwhile at church?”

I kept silent, praying to God, "If you are a true God who really loves me, please heal my leukemia, as I will follow you forever!" After I had been praying for around half an hour, I heard a voice, “Child, you had suffered!” I felt comforted after crying. The next day when I returned to the hospital, I started to have an appetite to eat after the infusion therapy. At that moment, I suddenly had an idea, “God loves me so much that He must help me. I know that I must get better and better if  I keep my appetite to eat.” Not very long after that, my health was getting better and better, which my doctor also found very strange.

After my 11 days of therapy at the hospital, I initiated the check-out procedure from the hospital. My doctor refused my request, asking me to finish a full body check-up. When the results came out, they showed that the range of my white blood cell counts had returned to normal. In a big surprise, my doctor asked me whether I was a Buddhist or not, and whether I had freed a captive or not. I just told them that I believe in Jesus, and my heavenly father had healed me. When I looked at my doctor’s diagnostic report, the wording was changed from “leukemia” to “suspected leukemia”!

On the day I walked out of the hospital, I just turned my eyes to the sky, filling up with joy, with tears running down my face. And I said to God, “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you!”

- Translated by Jessie Cheong

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