Born in a poor rural area, I worked hard to buy a house and a car by my own efforts.
When my life was getting better and better, I was no longer simple, kind, and aggressive as I used to be.
Later, when I got married and had children, I didn't know how to love my husband and my children as I had a cold and hard heart. Being a lover of myself and the world, I walked in the flesh.
Being corrected by God the Father who loves me, I returned to the church to learn His word.
For many years, I was only a hearer of the word instead of a doer. Though I want to follow the Lord's teachings, my spirit was willing but my flesh was often weak.
In the past ten years of my marriage, it was not easy for me to love and obey my husband. During the Spring Festival this year, I told my story in a monthly sharing meeting at Bethlehem Church. I confessed a sin hidden in my heart for many years, which haunted me for many years and affected my life and my marriage. Many times I wanted to get rid of this sin by asking for help, but it was invalid every time.
Through the meeting, God completely removed the sins that had bound me for many years.
The Bible teaches us that wives should respect and submit to their husbands, which I believe, but I couldn’t practice it in my life.
Sometimes when I heard God’s word, I received it with joy, trying to do it for several days. But I still went my own way and acted as I did before.
Before the Spring Festival this year, the church held a new life class every Thursday night. After attending some courses given by a pastor’s wife who taught us to be obedient to our husbands, I was moved by the Holy Spirit to change my attitude towards my husband and to say more words to encourage, affirm, and build him up, Though I thought so, every time I get through the call, without saying many words, I began to curse him, insult him, and destroy him.
Last year, I tried to participate in the morning prayer meeting of the church every day, praying that God could help me love my husband and children. After praying for a long period of time, by the end of last year, God really changed me, making the impossible possible.
After the Spring Festival this year, my husband went back to Beijing on the second day of the first lunar month and never came back due to the epidemic. In the past few months, we talked with him by WeChat and phone with prayers together. First, I occasionally complained and blamed him, still with dissatisfaction with him even later. When I realized that I was going to complain, I stopped chatting but prayed immediately, asking God to help me not to complain. During this time, I learned to pour out my heart before God, coming out of the dark cloud into the light.
Now, every time I call my husband, I have learned not to complain but to obey my husband, without attacking him, abusing him, or making him sad.
One morning, the wife of a pastor taught us about the scripture of 1 Peter 2:18, "Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate but also to those who are harsh."
Sharing what I had learned in the morning prayer meeting, I said to the children, "We must all learn to fear and obey God. In the future, I will also submit to your father at home." Then my mind got released.
During the time when my husband was away, as Bethlehem Church didn’t host morning prayer meetings in March, I lead the children to study the Bible Psalms every morning. Together we pray and share God's love and our understanding of the verses, with the relationship with my children becoming closer and closer.
(The author is the lecturer of the "Smart Parents Training Camp" and the initiator of the Home-School Co-education Smart Parents Training Camp)
- Translated by Abigail Wu
