Born into a rural family in northern China, I lived with my grandmother from a young age for my parents had moved to the city for work.
My grandmother was a hardworking woman who was busy tending to the fields and managing the household. Besides accompanying her to the farmland, one of my happiest memories was riding on her bicycle to church because I got to have fun with other children and enjoy the snacks offered by the church aunties during every visit. My grandmother, however, listened attentively to sermons, took notes, and often wept quietly while singing hymns.
My grandmother's love for Jesus showed not only during Sunday worship but also in her daily life. Every night before bedtime, she would read Bible stories to me. As a result, stories like David defeating Goliath, Jacob's dream of the ladder to heaven, and Peter's three-time denial of Jesus became deeply ingrained in my memory from an early age.
Farm work and household duties are tedious and demanding. Yet my grandmother never complained; instead, she worked with joy. My grandmother had to prepare lunch for us every day after returning from the fields during the autumn harvest when our entire family would spend several days gathering corn. Whenever I tried to help in the kitchen, I heard her sing hymns, thanking God for His grace and provision.
I stayed with my grandmother until I was 12 when I had to move to the city for school. I was deeply reluctant to leave her. However, her biggest concern is whether I would continue living out my faith without her.
Before I left, my grandmother prepared a red-covered "Union Version Chinese Bible" for me and reminded me not to forget to read God's Word. She urged, "Even though Grandma won't be with you, no matter what you face, always remember to pray, and the Lord Jesus will help you!"
In my first year in the city, when I began junior middle school, my parents divorced due to relationship issues. Without my parents around and having left my grandmother, I had to face my studies and campus life alone. I quickly developed various bad habits, associating with the "troublemakers" in the eyes of the teachers.
During my three years of junior middle school, I spent a lot of time in Internet cafes with these classmates, often staying out all night and frequently getting into fights outside of school. Our group quickly earned the reputation of being "hooligans" among the teachers.
In high school, my behavior worsened further. I not only disrespected my teachers and parents, but I also crossed boundaries in my relationships with the opposite sex. At that time, I had lost the purpose of studying, let alone the meaning of life. I often lay awake late at night, questioning myself: "What is the meaning of my life? Is this how I'm going to waste my time?"
I couldn't find an answer. I asked to drop out of school, hoping to find a way forward. However, when I began searching for a job, I developed a strange skin condition for no reason. I visited various doctors, but it only worsened, leaving me feeling disfigured. I became too ashamed to face anyone and started to feel increasingly inferior.
After seeking medical help and taking medication without success, I withdrew from all social interactions. My mental state plummeted to its lowest point, and I even had thoughts of suicide. Just at my most desperate, I remembered what my grandmother told me when I left the countryside a few years ago: "No matter what happens, you must pray, and the Lord Jesus will help you!"
That night, I knelt beside my bed, and for the first time I prayed out loud. At that moment, it felt like a beam of light was shining on me. I reflected on all the wrong choices I had made over the years, especially in my relationships with women. I realized that the disease I got was God's discipline for my actions. I began to cry before God, acknowledging that my past behavior had deeply offended Him.
After confessing and repenting, I prayed, "Lord, if You are truly God, please heal my disease. If You heal me, I will live for You for the rest of my life!"
I prayed to God for about three days, and during this time, I rediscovered the Bible my grandmother had given me. After one of my prayers, I opened the Bible for the first time and came across the words in Luke 19:10: "The Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost." As I read this, I was deeply moved and said to God, "Lord, I am the lost sinner." I also read the verse in Mark 2:17, where Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Holding the Bible in my hands, I said to the Lord, "Lord, I am the sick one, I am the sinner, and I need You!"
That same week, one morning while my mother was preparing breakfast, she looked at me and said, "How come the scars on your face are gone?" I was so surprised that I could hardly believe it. I rushed to the mirror and saw that they were truly healed!
Afterward, I shared my experience of repentance with my grandmother and asked her to recommend a church for me. She introduced me to a local congregation and encouraged me to commit myself. In my second year at the church, the pastor encouraged me to get involved in service and to seek God's calling for full-time ministry.
Since joining the church, I have been deeply inspired by God's Word and the life of the congregation. I now consider the church my spiritual home and become a full-time minister.
(Originally published by the Gospel Times, the article has been edited under permission and the author is a Christian in Shanxi Province.)
