In recent years, "Loss-of-single-child family", the term for parents that have lost their only child, has drawn more attention in the society of China. China Report of the Development on Aging Issue(2013) published by China National Committee on Aging shows Loss-of-single-child families will total 10 million in the furture, and 76,000 single-child family lose their single child annually.
The term "loss-of-single-child family (失独家庭) refers to the single-child family in which the single-child is deceased due to various reasons, many of the parents in this group are too old to have additional children after the loss of the single child resulting in a series of social problems.
On Oct. 14, an article tittled the Salvation Road of "loss-of-single-child Parents" on China Youth Daily called the society to pay attention to "Shidu Parents" group. It says some volunteer centers have provided psychological assistance for them, mentioning The Maple Women's Psychological Counseling Center(The Maple Center, in short) started to face this large vulnerable group and explore a psychological salvation road of "loss-of-single-child Parents" through innovations including psychological workshops.
Although the Chinese government gives loss-of-single-child families financial aid through policies, the severe problem is that huge mental pain exists in these families generally. "How to fill their black hole needs the attention of the whole society." the article writes. It also describes the attitude of some "loss-of-single-chiled parents" that they aren't afraid of death but can't see the future.
The offical of the Maple Center said, "For them, being alive is terrible. Illness, Home for the Aged, and no one to sign for them when on the operating table...all of these are scared for them. We met lots of parents just like her, they almost deny everything after the loss of the only child and even lose the right of happiness and dignity."
The report of Symptom Checklist 90 by which The Maple Center surveyed 100 "loss-of-single-child parents" in Beijing from November, 2014 to February, 2015 reveals that over 60% have severe mental health problems, among them more than 60% suffer from depression, unhealthy diets and poor sleep, over 50% OCD, over 40% Schizophrenia and interpersonal strain, 38% have the tendency of suicide and up to 70% feel inferior.
The pychlogical expert Liu Fengqin, vice director of The Maple Center, point out the six common misunderstanding which exists in "loss-of-single-child parents": the first one is labelling himself or herself "inferior"; the second is conjuecturing that others mention his or her lost child on purpose in front of him or her, which makes him or her discriminated; the thrid is not allowing hisself or herself to be happy, otherwise betraying the lost child; the fourth one is not allowing himself or herself to be sad or deny or over control his or her emotions; the fifth is emotional inference, such as thinking "I feel guilty so I have done somthing wrong. I feel weak so I can't be back to normal. " The last one is negative attention, "highly focusing on misfortune".
The bible cares much about widow and orphan groups who lose his or her love, such as family member. Loss-of-single-child families are the group who lose their only child and suffer from hugh mental pain and face many diffculties including lonliness and lacking material at old ages. Thus, churches are urgently needed to pay attention to this group and give support and help in spirit, soul and body.
