As online church services have been ongoing for almost three months since the coronavirus outbreak in late January, the attendance at my campus fellowship gatherings has been reduced to half their normal size. I thought the reason was that Christians were not becoming accustomed to “cloud” gatherings, but many people did not show up after attending earlier meetings.
Since we are all young people who can easily use the necessary technology, the only explanation may be “reluctant to attend”. As time moves on, we can refer to what is happening as “a loss of members”.
In the United States, reports are that about seventy per cent of adolescents leave church between ages 18 and 22. It is also my observation that many young believers in China choose to leave during the time between high school and the end of university. The dropout rate is remarkable. When young people mature and begin to make decisions for themselves, many leave the church mainly because it is no longer an indispensable part of their lives.
I want to share some stories of believers who should have been the last to leave their church.
“I’m only leaving the church temporarily.”
My senior sister Xiao Yuan, gentle and beautiful, was popular among my college fellowship. She cared about others and was happy to help us. After each service, she chatted with us on topics ranging from faith to school studies, showing us she cared in a thousand little ways.
However, our loving sister stopped appearing in the fellowship. We guessed she might be too occupied with studying, but she did not show up in the next two months.
I found the courage to call her. She answered, “Ah! I know what you want to ask. I just don’t want to join in the gatherings for a while and please don’t ask why. I will naturally go when I really want to. Don’t worry about it, because this my relationship with God.”
Confused, I wasn’t sure what to say and remained silent. I hoped the “while” would be a short time.
“I’m not attending church while I’m in college.”
Xiao Yuan returned to her hometown after graduating from college. Having ceased attending services for a “while”, she resumed her service at the church. Gifted in caring and visiting, she became involved in a visitation ministry.
She asked if I would be able to invite a young brother to church. He was from her home church and had just been admitted into a university in my city.
Nonetheless, he refused me each time, apologizing that he was too busy with clubs or the student union, and promising to attend the next time. The school year passed quickly. I could not help but calling him to ask his time schedule in the new semester. He was full of promises of going to church. However, we never saw each other again until we met at Christmas of the next year.
“I’m too busy with work.”
My boyhood friend A Cheng became a devout Christian at an early age. We agreed to go to church on Sundays.
After graduation from college, he found a job in a Germany company. He had constant business trips, resulting in less contact with me. He did not even attend my wedding.
Every Sunday I would ask him if he went to church, but he always claimed he was too busy. It is true that he was unable to control the weekends on which he needed to work and failed to attend a specific church.
He always says that he will need to endure a few more years so he can pay the mortgage on his apartment, and then he will change to a more relaxed job so that he can attend church regularly.
Similar voices are always heard in the church: “I will come when I retire, my children grow up, or my work gets easier...”
“I have no connections with other church members.”
As people migrate to cities to make a living, a church can give them the same warmth that they feel in their hometowns.
Through social media, they are able to adjust to having few family members around them. Even as migrants they are still able to keep in touch with their relatives and old friends. Some Christians are tied to their cellphones because this is how they can stay in touch with their hometown fellowships and networks. They don’t need to develop new relationships and lack the motivation to try.
As a result, some churches, mainly comprised of young people, seem plain and cold. The youth have a passion for social media, leaving little time for their churches. To some extent, a newcomer longing for warmth and care becomes disappointed.
The most common reason for not going to church is that “I don’t want to because I don’t have a connection with the brothers and sisters.”
- Translated by Karen Luo
