Editor’s Note: On the road of faith, each of us has a guide who shows us the door of faith or helps us break through the barriers of religious beliefs in a way. On the occasion of International Women's Day on March 8, a female believer surnamed Su told the story about her ordinary mother who led her in seeking God.
Su was born in a Chrisitan family, however, in her place believing in God was rather a constraint and a ritual to please her mother. Nevertheless, when she finally got rid of her mother's restrictions on religious beliefs, she gradually understood that the gospel was the most precious gift that her mother gave her in life.
The following was told in the first person from her perspective:
My mother embarked on the journey of faith for my elder sister who has been sick and frail since childhood. Being in bad shape, my sister had to take injections and medicines all year round, and sometimes even had intravenous drips in hospitals during the Chinese New Year holidays.
At that time, my father's aunt had turned to Jesus. Being aware of the situation in our family, she came to preach the gospel to my mother who became a Christian with a cautious attitude to give it a try. She began to learn to pray to God for my sister's health. It was so amazing that my sister did gradually recover, which deepened my mother's passion for seeking God. Naturally, I was considered a second-generation believer after I was born.
For as long as I could remember, my mother took my sister and me to church every Sunday, asking us to kneel to pray together before going to bed every night. Finding it an ordeal every time in the church, I rather liked praising than praying with eyes closed, preferring festival activities and gifts to every long sermon.
Going to church at that time was a way for me to please my mother. Back then, we could not say no to her about going to church or living a religious life, which would upset her. But when my elder sister gradually grew up with a strong will of her own, she no longer obeyed the mother in everything. She could even negotiate with our mother to let her stay at home sleeping instead of going to the Sunday services. Meanwhile, it seemed that our mother no longer insisted that my elder sister obey her lifestyle.
A child would soon grow up and be free from a mother's control. When I was in junior high school, I lived on campus all the time except for the holidays when I could go back home, as a result, my mother couldn’t control my behaviour and lifestyle. At that time, I felt like I was free. Yet later I learned that my mother had been praying about our faith all the time.
At that moment, I didn’t understand the meaning of connecting with God, as well as why my mother requested us to go to church and pray every night. But now in reflection, I am very grateful that my mother showed me the door of faith which was imprinted on my heart when I was young. It enabled me to pray to God and go to church attending gatherings when I had to face life, studying, and inner struggles alone. Especially before the college entrance exams, I was very confused and panicked. During that period, I would attend morning prayer services every morning (the school and the church were separated only by a wall), feeling like I had grasped the sparkle of hope in my life.
My mother has a simple belief in God, and even her view of Jesus Christ is very shallow. She didn’t give us a very in-depth guide in Christianity, but her simple and pure faith led our whole family to God.
My father, in particular, seemed to be an indifferent person who didn't care about his belief. But in his heart, he has already accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior. Because in his life, he has also truly experienced God's protection, seeing God's leading our life. I believe that God will also lead my father to Him at the right time.
As I grew older, I found that I could communicate with my parents less and less. But my intimacy with God has become good protection for me. I actively try to find a church every time I go to a new place where I feel that my soul is at rest.
- Translated by Shuya Wang
