My father was an overseas returnee student. Because of his inner emptiness, he once believed in Buddhism and even considered becoming a monk. Even after marrying my mother, he still felt unhappy. Later, he joined a church and brought the whole family into it as well.
After joining the church, because of his perfect testimony, he got his wish and became a church leader, even though he had only been in the church for over two years.
The other side of the "perfect father"
My father seemed to have everything going well for him. However, he often flew into a rage over trivial matters.
When I was four, I got a severe case of pneumonia, but he neither took me to the hospital nor showed any concern for me.
After starting school, I faced bullying. However, my father insisted that those who bullied me were just playing around and joking with me, and therefore, I should choose to forgive them.
At home, my father always demanded that my mother complete all the housework. She had to work and take care of the children, and she couldn't do everything perfectly. In his eyes, my mother became "a woman who wouldn't submit to her husband."
Later, my father became dissatisfied with the public education system. So, he began homeschooling us. His image in front of the church members became even more perfect.
However, when a young man wanted to serve and give sermons at the altar, my father was very displeased. He said this person had served in a certain church before and therefore was not qualified to preach in his church.
Later, my father left the previous church where he had served and started a new one. Once, a mother who had been a victim of domestic violence for many years brought her daughter to the church and shared their painful experiences with us. My father, after hearing their story, showed no empathy and dismissively said, "Domestic violence is an issue for both parties."
This incident made me start doubting that something might be wrong with my father. For a while, he frequently came to talk to me, and I found that every time I opened up and shared my thoughts, he would relentlessly belittle and suppress them.
Bullying teacher at school
After the church founding failed, my father decided I should learn the piano to serve in the church. He sent me to a music training school established by Christians. Due to my past experience with bullying, I initially adopted a bad attitude to keep others from bothering me. As a result, the teacher labeled me a problematic girl and often scolded me.
Gradually, I began to notice many disturbing issues at this training school.
One classmate would sometimes hallucinate due to stress. The teacher concluded, "This is satan's disturbance; just pray, and it'll be fine."
Another teacher at the school often touched students' private parts under the guise of joking. I was very angry about this and raised the issue with the school, but my classmates thought I was judging the teacher.
Leaving my "perfect" father
At 17, due to prolonged stress, I started experiencing physical abnormalities. By the time I was 18, I found that my menstrual cycle wouldn't stop. A month later, I was taken to the hospital, where the doctor said I was in a life-threatening condition and needed an immediate blood transfusion.
However, my father refused to pay for my medical expenses and only wrote me an apology letter. Through this incident, I finally realized that my father was far from normal.
At the age of 18, my mother and I left my father and separated from him. After experiencing bullying from both my father and school, my advice to believers is this: if a church leader seems almost perfect, but their children have reservations and criticisms about them, please do not easily assume, based on stereotypes, that the children are just being immature. It is very likely that the initial "perfection" people see is actually false.
(The article is originally from the Christian Times.)
- Translated by Abigail Wu
