Anyone who has been rejected is aware of the feeling of pain being trapped inside the body. It starts in the heart, and if it is left unattended and untreated, the pain spreads until it consumes the entire being. It is similar to a disease: the longer it's left untreated, the more it spreads. And the more it spreads, the more dangerous, and even fatal, it becomes.
This is where depression comes from.
People reject you so you reject yourself. It does not happen overnight, but eventually, this seeps into the heart and takes root. Any plant that takes root is meant to spring up and extend branches, and the same is true with rejection.
"No one loves me."
"No one cares for me."
A lot of depressed people have made these statements their mantra. Words like these create the breeding ground for the pain to spread further. It begins to consume the human personality.
I've been there.
When I was little, I used to be very cheerful and bold. I feared nothing. I was carefree. But the moment that I felt rejected by someone I love, I began to change. I was talkative, then I stopped talking. My carefree nature was replaced with isolation. I began to hide myself. Growing up, I had let the pain take over my entire being. It was not fun. I first tried to commit suicide when I was in fourth grade, and I had done many more attempts since.
Depression does not only affect the person who has it, it also affects the people around the depressed person. It's contagious. It's dangerous. It is absolutely no fun at all.
Hurt people hurt other people, and most of the time, they do so without the intention of doing it. I know this to be a fact.
However, I also know that depression can be healed because I myself have received it.
How?
Forgive others, then, forgive yourself.
Forgiveness is not an emotion. It doesn't have to be felt. It is a choice of the will and it is done by decision. It's difficult to say, "I forgive..." but it's more difficult not to do it.
Yes, it hurts. It hurts a lot; but, what if your decision to forgive today will be the key to your emotional freedom tomorrow?
When Jesus told us to forgive, he did not give us the command for his sake. He gave the command for our sake because in forgiveness, a release takes place. Forgiveness is the garbage truck that takes away all the filthy, hurtful feelings in the heart. And like normal trash, we can choose to let the garbage truck pass by or not. If we keep normal garbage around our homes, they start to stink. Worms come in by the thousands. Ants climb up the garbage can and rodents chew on rotten left overs. It's an ugly picture.
We forgive others to set ourselves free. Then, we forgive ourselves to set ourselves free even further.
"Why do I have to forgive myself? I didn't do anything." You might argue.
You don't do it because you did something, you do it because you want to be set free.
Set free from what?
Guilt, condemnation, hatred, anger, envy, jealousy, should I go on?
All these feelings serve no good purpose. They are destroyers of people and relationships. No sane person wants to keep a ticking time bomb in his pocket.
Healing from rejection starts with forgiveness, and it's no more than a decision that must be made.
And remember, people may reject you. Even your own parents may reject you, but Jesus never will.
However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them. -John 6:37 NLT
Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. -Psalm 27:10 NIV
Do yourself a favor: forgive. Do it for you.
