Have you ever wondered why you are still single?
Picture this: you're over almost three decades old. Most of your high school peers already have families. Half of your college buddies are the same, and the other half are in relationships. One by one, your friends are getting married and your wedding day is still out of sight. There are no prospects, there aren't even any applicants.
But maybe there are, but you just know that they are not "the one." Sometimes, a person comes along that seems like he's the one, but it is kind of disappointing to find out in the end that he's really not.
Can you relate so far?
If the answer's yes, please read on.
At this moment in our young adulthood, we get to the point where we can't help but think, "Am I not good enough?" "Don't I look good enough?" "Is it my body?" "Is it my hair?" "Am I invisible?" "What's going on?" "What's taking so long?" Everyone else around our age are all mostly taken, and you wonder, "Why am I still single?"
Insecurity kicks in.
Around the age of 23, our maternal instincts start to kick in. We see babies and we think, "Aww, I want one." It's just natural feminine nature.
But, "Why," we ask, "am I still single?"
Dear Sister, I will tell you what my Father in heaven told me.
As I was praying about this, I asked, "Father, why?"
In my heart, the words were so alive and I believe with all my heart when He said, "Because I'm protecting you."
Protecting me from what, I wondered.
Some of us stay single a little longer because God, as our Father, wants the best for us. If human fathers want the best for their daughters, God is the same. But our human fathers can only spare us to an extent, but God covers us with a shield against all threats.
God protects us from getting hurt. He protects us from unnecessary tears. It is better to be lonely for a little while as we wait than to be miserable forever with the wrong choice. A year or two, even more years of waiting, is way better than a lifetime of misery and regret.
"Because I'm protecting you," He said.
Ladies, we are precious in the eyes of our Father.
Just as kings don't let their daughters marry anyone less than a prince, the same is true with how God is with us. He wants the best for His daughters.
God prepares us for marriage as we wait. But we must consider that we're not the only ones who need preparation, but also the one to whom we will be married to. "The one" has to be ready, too. And when the time is right, when both sides are ready, then the wedding bells will come.
God is a matchmaker. "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper who is just right for him," He said in Genesis 2:18. He knows our need for companionship. He knows every longing we have. Here He promises to give us someone who is just right for us. Other translations say He promises to give us someone who is fit or suitable.
There's a lot of fish in the sea, but not all of them are fitting for your desires and needs.
You could meet a nice, handsome Christian but just because he's nice and he shares the same faith with you does it mean that he's the suitable one.
God loves you so much that He will act to ensure you meet the one just for you.
It's not our insecurities that keep the men away. It's not even how we look. As far as God is concerned, we are perfect. According to Song of Solomon 4:7, God said to us "You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you." Appearance is not an issue at all.
"Like a lily among thistles is my darling among young women (Song of Solomon 2:2)."
In a world full of thistles (thorns, in another translation), to God, you are the lily. The most beautiful of them all. You stand out in the eyes of the King of kings. You are unique and God has someone who is equally unique for you. He will not give you anything that is less than the best.
If we are willing to submit our singleness to God, not moving on our own will and grabbing every chance there is for a relationship; if we let Him lead us, then He will not disappoint. God never disappoints if we are willing to wait for Him to tell us the proper moment.
I know of a sister in Christ who had to wait too. She's very beautiful, and naturally, men are attracted to her. But she let God write her love story, so she turned them all down. This sister got to a point where she just wanted to give up on the waiting game and not marry altogether. You know what God did? In her surrender, "the one" came along. She trusted God every step of the way up until her wedding day, and now she's enjoying happiness that otherwise she wouldn't have if she had not waited for God and went ahead with the wrong one.
See, there's "the one," and there's also "the wrong one." And there's only one the one. Out of all the billion of people in the world, only one of them is fit for you. That's worth waiting for.
So, ladies, don't get discouraged with the wait. You're still single because God is reserving you for the best. No rational father wants the wrong one for their daughters.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that God makes everything beautiful in His time. His time, not ours.
The one for me is still beyond the horizon. I don't see him yet. However, God promises that He has the right one for me, and that alone is reason for me to be cheerful in hope. I encourage you the same.
God is more than capable to do exceedingly abundant over all that we could dare ask or think (Ephesians 3:21). Let's trust Him.
Here's a prayer you can pray if you're still waiting for the One:
Dear God, your Word says that it is not good for man to be alone. Believing that you have someone who is suitable for me, I surrender to you. I'm letting you write my love story because you will do far more abundantly than all I could ever ask or think. Protect me from anything that is less than your best. In Jesus' name. Amen.
