1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 says "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."
I used to believe these verses were about the love of God and how I should love. However, I grew disappointed at myself because I didn't have love according to such a standard.
It then occurred to me that those verses were more than requirements for me, but how I should feel about the wonderful love from members in Christ. Indeed, I see those characters from the Bible verses in them. Maybe we can't each have perfect love, however, when we connect the different love of everyone, we will discover how full and beautiful love is.
Since I have been a believer since young, I placed Biblical standards on myself. Inevitably I felt superior than others believing I wouldn't sin like them and God would love me more.
I didn't take some brothers and sisters seriously at first, especially those who were less educated, plain, or inarticulate. Not only did I not socialize with them, I wouldn't even greet them.
Who would've thought someone like me was ruthlessly molded by God.
I lost my friends, my fiancée, and my family. I disappeared from their world completely and kept no touch with anyone except two sisters from my church.
Ironically, neither of these sisters met my old criteria for being friends.
I could actually open up about my pains, pour out complaints, and cry fearlessly. When I was betrayed and lost everything, they offered financial help and a roof over my head with no strings attached whereas my former rich friends, who live next door to celebrities and could afford South Korean pop stars coming to China for events, were unwilling to spend a penny on me.
During my absence, I learned to lift myself up from despair and remain strong in loneliness. And the two sisters became my life-long true friends because it was them who encouraged me and prayed for me from time to time.
We laughed and cried together, and they never cared about the contemptuous looks I gave them years ago.
Right now, my callousness has been mostly shaved off. Some old friends comment when they see me, "The old you was pretty but fierce; the current you is not as pretty as before, but you have love in your eyes."
In fact, God taught me three things through my experience.
First, He doesn't love me more than others. He is fair.
Second, I am also a sinner. I became a Christian because of His blessing, not my good deeds, so I have nothing to be proud of.
Third, I am able to love because I have the love from God, the church, and other Christians.
Thank God that I felt the love that is not self-seeking in Christ.
Ultimately, I would like to use this article to mark the love between members in Christ over the last five years.
-Translated by Grace Hubl
