Suicide is a complex social phenomenon.
According to statistics from WHO, over one million people die from suicide worldwide each year, and Chinese account for around 250,000. There are also approx two million people who attempt suicide.
First, we have to be clear that Christianity is against suicide. Scripture says that God is the giver of life and no one, other than God, has the right to end his or her own life.
Suicide is a sin just like murder.
According to Saint Aurelius Augustinus, "the commandment is: you shall not kill man; therefore, neither another nor yourself, for he who kills himself still kills nothing else than man." (City of God: Chapter 20) Because of this, ancient churches would refuse to hold funeral services for those who committed suicide. And those who were suicidal or attempted suicide would be excommunicated.
So what should we do when people from our church are struggling with suicidal thoughts?
- Bear their burdens
"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2)
The reason why some Christians are suicidal is that they can no longer stand thier miserable life with poverty, sickness, unemployment, breaking-up, divorce, worry, agitation, etc. In the end, they lost endurance for distress, confidence in life, and hope for the future.
We can help them out of the looming darkness by approaching them with love, befriending them, and bearing their burdens.
- Gain their trust
"The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered." (Proverbs 17:27)
Those who are suicidal are usually very sensitive to others' reactions. If the listener panics when they reveal their suicidal thoughts, they probably will close their heart and won't share any more. So don't panic! Be calm!
In a way, the warning signs of suicide are also a cry for help. They also mean that the person still wants to live. One way to talk to suicidal believers is "Thank you for trusting me and telling me this. Let's work together to find solutions."
- Just listen
"Whoever has ears, let them hear." (Matthew 11:15)
People who are suicidal often feel that no one understand their unspeakable pain inside. They think about ending their lives from time to time, but are afraid of taking action, unsure about the whole idea. Such contradiction only gives them more pain and is more dangerous.
In a way, if they let out their feelings and thoughts with the understanding and acceptance of the people around them, their pain will be off their chest. For example, you can say: "I know you've gone through a lot of pain and you must have reasons for it. I will be there for you! Would you talk more to me?"
- Do not judge
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged." (Matthew 7:1)
Even though our religion is against suicide, we still need to bear with the brothers and sisters who are suicidal. Never judge or criticize with the Word of the Bible, nor discriminate against them, thinking their behavior deviates from the faith of Christ.
Trying to talk them out of suicidal thoughts abruptly often will make them feel unaccepted and not understood. It will only intensify their guilt and pain which will be more dangerous.
Therefore, never resort to such methods before solving the core issue and their emotional entanglement. It is hard to change people's mind and how they feel. And persuasion, criticism, and judgment like that not only won't have any actual effect, they may be counterproductive.
- Evaluate the situation
"I will sing with my spirit, but I will also sing with my understanding." (1 Corinthians 14:15)
When brothers and sisters are bothered with suicidal thoughts, they especially long for attention from others. So just ask them questions. It not only won't trigger them committing suicide, but can help evaluate the situation to save their lives.
Questions like if they have made plans, have any possible tools for suicide, and whether they have attempted it before would help decide where they are in the situation. They normally will ask the listeners to keep the conversation between them especially when they reveal their suicidal inclination. In a way that does not agitate their emotions, we should promptly inform their family and friends about their condition. Ask their family or friends to keep them company, keep them from staying alone, remove dangerous objects, and help them seek professional healthcare.
- Encourage and Comfort
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." (Matthew 5:4)
When we help members in Christ, we can use the Word of God to care for and comfort them. We can use many verses in the Bible about overcoming difficulties and facing life positively to meditate, think, and pray with them.
Our loving God is willing to give people the confidence and strength to overcome distress. Therefore, Christians should conquer the suffering with God, instead of ending their lives to escape them. The Bible tells us that "Because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." (Romans 5:3-5)
We believe that the suffering of today is merely the prelude of our future blessing. With God's comfort and presence, what reasons do we possibly have to give up our precious life?
(The author is a believer from Yushui Church in Xinyu, Jiangxi Province. The views reflect the opinion of the author only. )
-Translated by Grace Hubl
