Rev. Dr. Caleb Soo Lee Chong, associate minister of Singapore Life Church, recently delivered a seminar on breakthroughs in family relationships.
In today's world, the forces of evil are making every effort to undermine the families of those who serve God. When the family relationships of God's servants are broken, both their motivation and capacity to serve can be lost. Observations and statistical data reveal that among church leaders, strong marriages and families committed to collective ministry are relatively rare. Conversely, strained marriages and children who do not share the Christian faith are more common.
The seminar addressed the pressing issue of family challenges within ministry by examining the Puritan concept of the family as a "little church," explored through four main perspectives.
The Puritans were a group of English Protestants in the late 16th and 17th centuries, influenced by the Reformed tradition. They aimed to further purify the Church of England in terms of worship, doctrine, and both personal and communal piety. Despite being Protestants, they rejected certain Catholic and Anglican elements, such as the use of religious icons, believing the Church of England had not undergone a thorough or faithful reformation.
Facing intense religious persecution, many Puritans emigrated to the Netherlands or the American colonies, with some aboard the Mayflower, seeking to establish a faith-based community in a new land. Their emphasis on the family as the nucleus of spiritual life emerged from the prohibition against worshiping outside the Church of England, which forced them to meet in private homes. These gatherings mirrored the early church and became known as "little churches."
Within these Puritan "little churches," parents are spiritual leaders responsible for guiding family worship, teaching Scripture, and nurturing their children's faith. They led by example in faith and moral conduct, encouraging family members to live according to biblical principles. If someone strayed, it was the parents' role to counsel them and guide them back to repentance. Additionally, these families emphasized the discipline of faith and moral living. Daily devotional practices, including Bible reading, prayer, and confession, were expected of each family member. Disciplines were set to ensure that biblical teachings were practiced in everyday life.
The second key point emphasized the importance of participating in church life as a family unit, advocating for the entire family to attend Sunday worship together. Within the family, parents should not only be attentive to each family member's understanding of faith but also encourage those who have not yet been baptized to receive baptism and partake in Holy Communion at the appropriate time.
In the Jewish view, a newborn child is seen as soft clay, with parents bearing the responsibility for shaping it. The Bible teaches that every child is a blessing from God, with parents serving as stewards and gardeners entrusted with their care.
In the book of Ephesians, the apostle Paul instructs, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." The term "instruction," translated from the original Greek word didachē, refers to the wise and gentle introduction of the Lord's teachings into the hearts and minds of children, providing lifelong benefit and guiding them to remain close to God's commandments. Crucially, as faithful servants, parents are called to be role models, nurturing their children to grow as disciples of Jesus, characterized by goodness, wisdom, love, and reverence for God.
The third key point emphasized that a loving relationship between husband and wife forms the foundation for their children's faith. The book of Genesis first addresses the relationship between a couple, from which a harmonious parent-child relationship naturally flows.
Rev. Soo illustrated the significance of a loving marital relationship by sharing examples from both his family of origin and his own marriage. He recalled that his parents' relationship was quite "traditional," with his father never expressing love to his mother. As a result, after marrying, he found it difficult to build a healthy relationship with his wife, having been subconsciously shaped by the unhealthy dynamics he witnessed in his childhood. Transitioning from a mindset of male dominance to one of equality involved numerous frictions and conflicts, which came at a considerable cost to their relationship. Rev. Soo concluded that the quality of children's future marriages is closely tied to the relationship between their parents.
He stressed that marriage is a covenant, not a contract driven by emotional or personal interests. It is an unconditional commitment to remain faithful even when confronted with the other's weaknesses or failures. The relationship between Christ and the Church is the ultimate model for marital relationships.
True maturity in family relationships is reflected in mutual support between spouses without an intention of changing each other. Rev. Soo shared the story of a reporter's interview with an elderly couple who had been married for sixty years. When asked about her husband's virtues and flaws, the wife responded that his flaws were as numerous as the stars in the sky. However, she said there was one virtue, like the sun, that outshone all his flaws, rendering them invisible.
The final key point emphasized that the mission and purpose of marriage, according to the Puritan tradition, is to honor God rather than simply to bear children or enjoy marital intimacy. Consequently, the Puritans placed great importance on the holiness, faithfulness, and indissolubility of marriage.
Rev. Soo offered several suggestions for resisting the temptation of lust. He urged believers to cultivate self-control and moderation, remaining vigilant against media and environments that could lead them into temptation.
He further emphasized that a loving marital relationship serves as the strongest defense against temptation. Additionally, couples should actively engage in church fellowship rather than allowing themselves to drift away from the Christian community.
Finally, Rev. Soo highlighted the importance of understanding the devastating consequences of sin. He shared the story of a former Christian organizational leader who, after falling into sexual misconduct, was forced to resign. The man later confessed that he would never have acted as he did if he had foreseen the heavy price his family and the Lord would have to bear. Though he eventually repented, the damage was irreversible—his wife divorced him, and his children abandoned their faith because of his actions.
Originally published by the Christian Times
- Edited by Karen Luo and translated by Poppy Chan
