"Standing here today is a miracle." This is the testimony of Ms. Qiu Yiping, who endured years of torment from depression, to God, and to the many people who were with her in those difficult times.
On November 3, at the Second Impact Asia Alliance Summit in Jakarta, Indonesia, themed "Walking on Water," Qiu Yiping member of the Heavenly Melody Choir shared her life testimony during the ministry's introduction part.
Qiu, who majored in vocal music and singing, accepted Christ 36 years ago. After conversion to Christianity, she prayed, "Lord, I want to sing for you because you love me so much." God answered her prayer, and in 1989, she officially became a member of the Heavenly Melody Choir.
However, Qiu’s faith journey was not smooth. Years ago, she suffered from depression. In her pain, she considered resigning from the choir. Dr. Simon Hung, chairman of the Overseas Radio and Television, Inc. (ORTV), which the Heavenly Melody music ministry belongs to, said to her, "If you do not serve here, your life will be left with nothing but depression and loneliness."
"So, until today, they have always been with me," Qiu testified to the unrelenting love of the choir members, with whom she has been touring the world many times.
During those times of depression, whenever she was alone, Qiu would hear voices in her head both during the day and at night, "The world does not need you; you are redundant as you are a failure."
Due to these voices of self-blame and guilt, "I avoided every person. Whenever I saw the pastor in the church, I would run far away." Even while traveling to different churches and venues to serve, Qiu "always found the darkest corner and sat there motionless." The choir leader often sought the help of other members to find her and bring her to rehearsals.
At the peak of her depression, staff workers held her hands daily, prayed for her, and prepared food for her. "Like a baby who can only sing," she said, describing herself, "no emotions, no tears." Despite her weakness, the choir insisted on letting her serve with them.
"One night, I was living in a suite on the 24th floor. The voice came again, saying, 'Jump, jump, and all the pain will end.' But behind that, there was another warm and firm voice that said, 'No, your life should not end like this.'"
Going back and forth like this, Qiu describes her life as progressing in a tug-of-war between darkness and light.
It was not until 2006, when the Heavenly Melody Choir had a tour in Taiwan with a new album, that she heard the voice mock her again. It happened at home while she was preparing for the tour but this time, her spiritual alertness kicked in. Instead of passively accepting the voice, she called out to God, "Lord, please, take away this voice. I cannot go on like this anymore." The voice left her, and she tasted victory for the first time.
In the process of relying on the Lord for victory, Qiu was released from the bondage of her past. Freed from emotions of self-blame, she can now boldly express her self-love by proclaiming, 'I am a beautiful girl!' and loudly give thanks and praise to the Lord:
"Until today, it is truly God's grace that has kept me. After that prayer, I slowly opened my eyes to God and saw how I was bound, controlled, and manipulated by forces of darkness."
"In the last 18 years, I have felt like a newborn."
"I can now rely on God, my Heavenly Father, and pray to Him."
Now, she is grateful for “the journey of those decades,” acknowledging that during times of physical and mental weakness, her staff members workers, and those around her “cared for her in such a nurturing way that allowed her to complete every segment of the journey.” She also expressed gratitude, "Because of God whom I’m relying on, I can face myself, my environment, and everything else."
- Translated by Nonye Nancy