In his 40s, Pastor G has served in an East China church for many years. He has been married for many years, with two healthy children — a boy and a girl.
However, Pastor G's life was not smooth sailing. He was issued a "Disability Certificate" by the authorities. He said he was born disabled, with his eyes, hands, mouth, and other parts lacking coordination. At the age of nine, he was taken by his parents to many hospitals for multiple examinations but was found with no diseases. Finally, the doctor diagnosed him with "developmental retardation". In his 20s, he got much better, although it was not easy for him to even eat and dress like others. Now, he would still occasionally not be able to coordinate his hands and mouth when eating.
Because of this, feeling deeply inferior and depressed before he believed in God, he had the idea of suicide many times but failed to make it in the end. Looking back, he felt that God was protecting him and keeping him alive to use him.
His parents never gave up on him in poor health. The love of his family became the key to his persistence. In his 20s, he became interested in Christianity because of a Christian father. Then he approached the church, which became a turning point in his life. Later, God led him on the road of serving, preaching, pastoring, discipleship, praising, praying, and evangelizing. Now he could "do everything", though he could do nothing at the very beginning.
God blessed his marriage, as he married a female believer and became a father, which G never dreamed of. In his opinion, "I am poor, not handsome, and disabled. Who would want to marry me?" Today, he and his wife serve God together.
G said with emotion, "Before having faith, I couldn't do anything, so I was rejected every time I looked for a job. Now, I can do everything, such as preaching, pastoring, developing, evangelizing, training, praising, and praying. There is quite a lot of grace so that I can do many things. If you work for the world, they don't want you, but God would never reject you. What the world doesn't want, God accepts it, and God will never abandon us."
He began to believe in the Lord when he was shocked by a Christian's view of life and death.
Before believing in the Lord, Pastor G was self-abased and felt that he was an idiot and a scum who could only eat but could not create value for society. Because of his low self-esteem, he was afraid of facing an unfamiliar environment, others’ eyes, going to public places, and was not willing to communicate with people outside the family.
He went out to apply for a job many times but was all rejected. The recruiters said verbally, "Just wait for our call." To put it bluntly, it actually means, "We don't think you can do anything, so get out of here." There were so many rejections. Pastor G felt that he really could not persist anymore, and life seemed to have come to an end.
Pastor G said that he could do nothing but collect garbage and waste products all day to make a living. During this time, Pastor G met a young man, who was ten years younger than him. Suddenly one day, this young man died. After hearing the news, Pastor G said that he could not accept it at all as the boy was tall and strong, and looked very healthy. Why did he suddenly pass away?
After a short time, Pastor G heard another piece of news. The boy's mother also died. Pastor G thought it was time to go to his home and comfort his father. He felt that his father must have been in great pain.
Arriving at his house and before entering, Pastor G heard his father singing in the room. Pastor G said, "I didn't understand it. Was this man crazy? His son died, and so did his wife. He must be crazy because he can't withstand so many blows. Otherwise, how can he sing in such pain?" Later, the father told Pastor G, "My wife and child have been taken away by Jesus, and they are reunited in heaven." The father described to Pastor G how beautiful heaven is. As his wife and children are gone, he is looking forward to seeing his family again in heaven one day.
Pastor G said, "It's the first time that I saw someone singing in the sorrow and pain of losing his family. It's very difficult, even incredible. Then I found that I have been looking for something, an answer, the ultimate love and the meaning and value of my life."
Pastor G did not immediately decide to follow Jesus because of this incident, but his mind suffered a great impact and had the foundation for his later faith.
Pastor G said that before he came to Christ, what kept him going, strong and courageous was the love of his father and mother, and the support of his brothers and sisters. Every time when he wanted to commit suicide, he thought of his family. Such love kept Pastor G from committing suicide, but could not get him out of a terrible state.
January 17th, 1999 is a decisive day for Pastor G. He came to the church for the first time on the invitation. Actually, Pastor G did not want to go because he knew that there were many people in the church, and he felt inferior then. But after many times of invitations, Pastor G finally came to the church, and was moved. He made a determined prayer and decided to become a Christian.
God always gives people more than they want or think. Pastor G would never have thought that he not only became a Christian but also grew to become a pastor later, leading many people to return to the Lord.
- Translated by Oliver Zuo