In 2006 my husband moved to a different city to live and work, and my child also began studying in another place. It was at this time that I began depending on my cell phone for social interaction.
Through my smartphone, I was able to spend my lonely and boring days by keeping in touch with my family, relatives and friends as well as brothers and sisters in the church. Several times I lost my phone and had no one near me to help. It was as if I had lost connection with the world. I felt a sense of indescribable loneliness and loss. I ran out of my house and told my phone number to any person who passed by. I was able to find my phone by having someone dial its number. When I had my phone again it seemed as if I had found a treasure and was able to again reconnect with the world.
However, my phone brought me trouble as I got lost in the online news from time to time. As I learned more about what was happening in the world, my problems and anxiety increased.
During this year's Spring Festival, an unexpected epidemic imprisoned people inside their houses. It turned out to be an opportunity for a reunion my family. We had plenty of time to be together and enjoy the warmth of home. At the same time, my eyes were always focused on my phone, keeping up-to-date with the changes of the Covid-19 outbreak. My mood shifted, and I found myself becoming anxious, angry and tearful.
More than ten days ago, I experienced blurred vision and began seeing black smoke rings. I realized that this was due to my cataracts. I also felt pain in my neck and was light-headed.
Unable to receive treatment during the outbreak, my family helped me change my unhealthy living habits. To reduce the amount of time I spent using my cellphone, my phone was taken away and I was only allowed to use it two hours a day. Meanwhile, I also began to do some physical exercise every day.
Amazingly, I felt relieved since I was away from being annoyed by worldly things and voices. I saw the God who is in control of everything, who loves me and I felt that my relationship with him was closer. After working out physically for some time, my eyes became clear and I no longer had problems with light-headedness.
Recently I listened to a series of lessons from the Book of Revelation. It was the first time I completed all the courses in the book, which was based on the current situation.
I couldn't help but turn all my heart and thoughts to God-reading the Bible aloud, praying silently in my heart, and continually praising God. I also joined the daily scheduled meetings with them.
Unexpected things happen every day. As a Christian, too much focus on worldly voices doesn't settle real questions but adds endless depression and disappointment. Rick Warren says that we are disappointed when we focus on the world, depressed when we look inside ourselves, but we can find rest when we focus on Christ.
The Lord expects us to seek his face first in the face of many things. Knowing our human limitations, he hopes we would respond like the psalmist did, "Your face, Lord, I will seek." (Psalm 27:8)
During the days when I did not focus on my phone as much, my eyes were kept shut to the world and open to God. When my dependence shifted from my phone to God, my world was suddenly enlightened. I saw the world would embrace light.
- Translated by Karen Luo
