Sister Xu accepted Christianity shortly after starting college in 2006. After she started college she occasionally encountered a Christian woman. Out of curiosity, she heard two verses from the Christian: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. " (Galatians 5:22-23)
She was instantly attracted by the verses. Wanting to produce much fruit, Xu started a journey of faith with a mindset of trying.
The Christian faith is not a myth invented by human beings
Xu soon accepted the faith and prayed the sinner's prayer, active in attending church services. "Actually I didn't believe in it. I just felt that the services were good and the hymns were melodious," she said, "but I didn't really understand the pastors' sermons at times, nor was I interested in them."
She thought that there was no clear distinction between the Christian faith and other religions and Jesus was like a big figure in a Western fairytale or legend. One of her fellowship members once shared in a fellowship meeting the story that her demon-possessed family member was healed by God, making her reflect on the faith. She confessed, "I began to believe that ghosts and God both exist in the world after hearing her testimony." Since then, she started to believe in God and seek Him.
One day a foreign pastor was invited to give sermons in her church. He called the congregation to kneel in prayer. Seeing almost all the believers around her getting down on their knees, she felt embarrassed --- in her education, she only knelt down before her parents when she was a child and it was shameful to fall on her knees in public. Giving in to her team leader's request, she knelt down at last. At that moment, she felt the outpouring of the Holy Spirit from her head. "In that minute, I totally believed in the existence of God without any doubt."
God filled her inner hole with love, leading to her family's conversion
Xu claimed that there was a deep ditch of emptiness in her heart before knowing Jesus, but God filled it with His love.
Born in a family with four children, she had two older sisters and one younger brother. As the third child, she was often ignored by her family. Over time, indignation grew inside her from her indignation. She concluded that her existence didn't actually matter.
However, God's love comforted her wounded heart and filled her long-standing emptiness. She had a deeper understanding of "love" and became considerate of her parents --- after all, it was not easy to raise four children and almost impossible to attend to all of them well. God erased the harm caused by her family. She started to pray for her family and share the gospel with them.
Delighted at knowing her change resulted from her faith, her parents gave thanks to God for her change. She said, "My family was influenced by me; my sisters and my parents followed Jesus."
God taught her to work for Him and helps her examine herself
Xu works in an educational institution. "I don't hide my faith in the workplace. I help the children in difficulty or in need in my class as much as possible." She tells Christian short stories to children on special occasions like Christmas and Thanksgiving Day so that they might know the history of these holidays.
Although her pay is not commensurate with her efforts, she works dutifully. "However, I know that I don't work for people or my boss, but God." Despite being busy with her hard work, she has never complained. The boss trusts her and the parents of her students have praised her.
However, her body was crushed with a heavy workload and various diseases struck her. Problems then appeared in her faith and work in succession. Her spirituality hit rock bottom: she started to fall away from the church, seldom attending services or coming near to God... "I suffered from serious insomnia for some time. Taking sleeping pills didn't work."
She thought that working too hard contributed to her illness, neglecting the spiritual battles. Xu became anxious and restless. The diseases occurred repeatedly and couldn't be cured.
It was at that desperate time that she heard God's voice --- "Don't be afraid and everything will be all right." The simple word shone like a strong light into her heart shrouded in darkness. At that moment, she regained consciousness and strength: she must get through the phase by any means possible.
"I thank God for bringing me through the problems in that time," she said with gratitude and joy, "because the sickness made me weak. Many times I was unwilling to commit some of my life problems to God, leaving openings for Satan to attack my faith and life."
God let her see her weakness and limits, leading her to think and reflect on herself during the painful period. She believed that God never gave her up or stayed away from her, though her sickness was caused by her own sins. God helped her through the environment so as to surpass herself by changing and growing up and putting aside her own thoughts.
- Translated by Karen Luo
