In a city in Northern China in November 2025, a Protestant pastor excitedly spoke of words like "retreat," "spiritual exercises," and "contemplation."
"To put it simply, 'retreat' is a Catholic term for spiritual practice; it involves participating in the spiritual exercises of Ignatius, contemplative prayer, and so on." Pastor Yuan said. "These belong to the Catholic system of devotions, which we, the Protestants, currently lack." He views the promotion of Catholic devotion as a calling he received from God.
Origin: From Personal "Dead-end" to Spiritual "Turning Point"
Pastor Yuan's encounter with Catholic devotion began with a profound personal crisis.
Over a decade ago, shortly after his baptism, Brother Yuan underwent a forced divorce. To someone like him who committed to serving God, the domestic discord was immense confusion and pain. He tried prayer and fasting; he sought help and advice from fellow believers and pastors; and he even received "laying on of hands" for prayer. Yet, his internal hurt remained unhealed.
The turning point was on a train journey. On Christmas Eve 2013, while returning from a short-term mission trip, he happened to meet a nun who dressed in plain clothes. Through talks, she didn't offer overly complex advice, but told him, "Try retreat."
Helped by a friend, he eventually found a Catholic priest who leads retreats and healing. He describes the feeling of his first retreat as undergoing "a spiritual surgery without anesthesia." Through silence, prayer, and guidance, he confronted many deep-seated issues within his heart and underwent profound repentance. Afterward, Yuan successfully emerged from the hurt of his broken marriage. At that time, he was a theological student. It was during his holidays that he began visiting Catholic convents.
His profound spiritual experience, which started over ten years ago, became the turning point of his life and ministry. "It was after studying there that I achieved a major breakthrough in my spiritual life," he admitted. As he personally experienced the power that changes life from the Catholic method, it gave him a clear responsibility of his mission: to inherit the "good and precious essence" of the Catholic tradition, the parts that Protestants failed to during the Reformation, and to "learn it and disseminate it to more people."
Reflection: The "Gains" and "Losses" of the Reformation
As a Protestant pastor with systematic theological training experience, Yuan believes the Reformation was inevitable and part of God's will. "Catholicism encountered problems in its historical progression, especially regarding the Bible. There were even flaws in doctrine; for instance, the sale of indulgences was truly absurd." Therefore, the Protestant emphasis on sola scriptura (scripture alone) was a necessary correction of the church's deviations and "stimulated" the Catholics to undergo their own reflection and reform.
However, he is by no means a blind admirer of everything Catholic. When asked how he evaluates the Reformation led by Martin Luther, he uses a vivid metaphor: "Some people might not know that Martin Luther himself was an Augustinian friar; he was a man who truly loved God and the Church. He saw many problems that had to be changed and corrected, but his method of correction was quite intense."
Yet, he pointed out that this fierce "family split" came with regrets and costs. "Some good things from Catholicism were not inherited by us Protestants. Devotion, for example, is one such area." As a Protestant pastor, he observes that many Protestant believers and even pastors harbor deep estrangement and misunderstandings toward Catholicism. This is largely because the two denominations remain isolated from each other, and knowledge of Catholicism is often based on "second-hand information" or mere hearsay.
He draws an analogy to the story of Peter meeting Cornelius's household in Acts: "The Jews originally thought Yahweh was only their God. Later, looking back, they saw that even the Gentile Cornelius had received grace that the Holy Spirit had also descended upon the Gentiles. We humans always like to 'narrow' God. In reality, you must be open; God is much bigger than us."
He notes that the Protestant devotion and the Catholic devotion are almost entirely different. "In recent years, many pastors are no longer as busy as they were before. I believe this is a great opportunity to 'make up for lost ground' and catch up on the vital subject of devotional studies."
The reality is that in Protestant circles, devotional studies is often neglected. "Many seminaries don't offer this course. Some do, but their so-called 'meditation' is just a brief lecture on the history of meditation, letting people know about a few historical figures like St. Ignatius."
To understand devotion deeply, Pastor Yuan specifically went to a monastery for a 30-day retreat. He recalled that during the period, he talked with his director only once a day. The routine was packed: there were five daily prayer sessions, each lasting about an hour. "The time in the monastery was actually very physically draining. Especially when meditating on sin because many of our issues surface, requiring repentance and confession. One's body can eventually become weak. Following the monastery's process for a month, you are essentially completely transformed."
Essence: Devotion as the Transformation and Discipline of the "Soul"
In Pastor Yuan's view, regardless of the method used, the core goal of devotion is life transformation, specifically the growth and transformation of the "soul" (mind, emotions, and will) to "see which areas are lacking." This includes examining whether one's thoughts and the "three perspectives" (worldview, outlook on life, and values) align with the values of the kingdom of heaven and the teachings of Jesus.
In the Catholic tradition, contemplation is a deep form of prayer, the core of which is an intimate union with God through silence and a contemplation of love. It is not just rational thinking or reflection, but a "simple gaze of the soul upon God," he explained.
Pastor Yuan links Catholic contemplative prayer to the traditional Chinese concept of "daily triple self-reflection." He said, "In the past, Confucius used the moral system of benevolence, righteousness, propriety, wisdom, and trust to see where he fell short. Now, we use the values of the kingdom of heaven to reflect on ourselves."
Practice: Building Bridges Amidst Misunderstanding and Dialogue
Promoting devotion across denominational traditions is by no means easy. Pastor Yuan had been labeled a "heretic". Facing doubt and misunderstanding, his mindset has undergone a great shift. "At the beginning, I was anxious and impatient. I wanted to be understood, and I wanted the others to change. That state of mind is often very painful." Now, he has discarded that "savior complex," believing that changing others is God's responsibility. Citing Matthew 11, he notes that Jesus, facing the unbelief of the crowds, ultimately entrusted the results to God in prayer.
In practice, he mainly introduces and promotes two major Catholic devotional systems: the Ignatian spiritual exercises and the contemplative tradition of the Carmelites.
He stated that the Ignatian exercises involve "finding God in all things; all created things are made by God. Paul also mentions in Romans 1 that God's eternal power and divine nature can be understood through what has been made." This is a method of discerning God's presence in daily life and meditation.
Contemplation, however, is more profound. If the Ignatian spiritual exercises are the "way of affirmation" (via positiva), then contemplation follows the "way of negation" (via negativa). Pastor Yuan says: "Contemplation means that any 'God' you can perceive is not God... when we feel God's presence through some creature, anointing, or vision, we must not stop there; we must transcend it. As for how far to transcend, that depends on where God leads us."
"People with stronger rationality are more suited for the spiritual exercises. Those who are more emotional and heart-centered rather than brain-centered might find contemplation more suitable," He emphasizes that meditation methods should be "tailored to the individual."
Challenge: Seeking Balance Between Identity and Boundaries
Pastor Yuan once considered whether he should serve within the Catholic community rather than the Protestant one, believing that Catholicism has a more complete spiritual meditation tradition and institutional support. However, two factors led him to remain in Protestant ministry.
First is the requirement of clerical celibacy in the Catholic Church. Pastor Yuan said, "Through prayerful discernment, I ultimately confirmed that I do not have that gift." Second, and more practical, is the concern regarding ethical boundaries in deep spiritual counseling within a Protestant context. For instance, a single brother is not suited to counsel sisters, as "transference" might occur.
Years ago, Pastor Yuan remarried and started a new family. He and his wife now often serve together as a team.
- Translated by Charlie Li
