Interview: Intimacy With God Resolves Marriage Conflicts

A picture of a woman and a man riding bicycles beside the sea
A picture of a woman and a man riding bicycles beside the sea (photo: pixabay.com)
By Sophia LiuAugust 5th, 2024

Pastor Wang and his wife from a church in a city in Eastern China mentioned that to manage a good marital relationship, people should not only learn about gender differences but also build a beautiful and intimate relationship with God. 

They met in seminary and were married in a ceremony officiated by a pastor, entering into marriage with the blessings of other believers. However, in their daily lives, they face many conflicts due to their differences.

Pastor Wang's family places a strong emphasis on etiquette, while his wife is not as mindful of manners. In terms of diet, she prefers light foods, whereas Pastor Wang is used to more strongly flavored dishes. She also has many opinions on his hygiene habits, such as that he doesn’t take off his shoes when he comes home, but leaves them in the bedroom and walks barefoot to find his slippers.

"Although the Bible says that the man is the head of the woman, it also says that Christ is the head of every person. If each person understands that Christ is the head, the wife should seek God's guidance and align with God; the husband should also learn to let God be the head, and the marriage will be full of love," said Pastor Wang's wife. "If individuals often draw near to God, the Holy Spirit will teach them how to act in every situation."

Pastor Wang's habit of not changing into slippers when he got home, which was a big challenge for his wife. Once, God humorously reminded her, "If your husband weren't like this, you would be unemployed." She immediately understood that God was teaching her to accept her husband’s shortcomings.

Once, a pastor shared in a sermon that one day he came home after 11 PM and cleaned the entire house. This incident greatly impacted Pastor Wang, and since then, he has managed his personal hygiene well without needing reminders from his wife. Through this experience, she learned that God changes a person according to His time and manner. If God never changes her husband’s flaws, it means God wants her to learn to be tolerant and loving.

When they had unpleasant incidents, Wang would hide in a room and not talk to his wife. Every time, God would enlighten her to apologize first. Sometimes she felt that God was favoring Wang, but God reminded her not to worry about her husband but to focus on her relationship with Him, doing as He instructed. Once, after an argument, Wang quickly came out of the room. Later, she found out that the Holy Spirit had reminded him, "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."

In her view, faith is not just intellectual but involves establishing a real and beautiful relationship with the Lord. True marital happiness also lies in this.

Finally, Pastor Wang's wife stated that she now has no significant issues with him. Currently, they have minor disagreements only every few months, half a year, or even a year.

- Translated by Abigail Wu

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